プロファイル.
User. Ai. There's nothing else you need to know.
メッセージ.
Music Playlist at MixPod.com フレンズ.
ArchivesApril 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 August 2011 July 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 |
Monday, December 31, 2012
it's been awhile again. it's the last day of the year and i've been feeling very lonely today. it feels so bad. i've been sad for the whole day nothing seems to go right today. i've been asking friends out but they're all busy. well i have only these little friends i cant do anything about it. and it's been raining for almost the whole day the weather's colder than ever which makes me sadder. i cant believe i was crying over loneliness. it's never happened before. i've never even felt lonely before this. what's wrong with me? what happened? what's my problem? am i sick? am i crazy? i don't know. today's really blue. not only i want to be with friends, i can't seem to stay at home i feel sick, sad, anxious, lonely, worried... i want to go out. so i proceed to gather street but it wasn't open. life hates me. so i wandered around there thinking of my next plan i tried to persuade her to let me go her house but i failed so i ended up buying a pack of green pea snack and walked home hide in my room ate the snack while reading comic. at night, i wanted to eat instant noodles. but there was no gas. life hates me. so i thought maybe i could have some coffee but the coffee was only enough for next week. see, life really hates me. i wanted to try on the new pair of lens but since everything isnt working well today it might just throw in another disappointment bomb and make me feel even more miserable.. it sucks enough that all my friends couldnt spend the last day with me but does things have to really go that bad? i feel so sad. so blue. so cold. so lonely. even sadder thinking that tomorrow is the last day of holiday before the painful life takes over again sad, sad, sad.... 2012 really was a bad year... i was hoping that the 21.12.2012 thing was true when nothing happened, i was so disappointed other people may be cheering for their lives but i was grieving over it because i really wanted something to happen. to end this life once and for all. i don't want to live. this year, my will to die is stronger than ever. maybe i'll really end it next year? please give me the courage to do so. if seeking satanism can really change me, i don't see why not i follow its teachings. but the meditation thingy takes time. after going to church in SARAWAK, the urge to join Satanism had been stronger than ever. Labels: December 2012
i took a lot of pictures, but had nowhere to post them. i'll just post them here since they might be too inappropriate to post them on Facebook. and oh, hi. long time no see, blog. Labels: October 2012
Friday, September 21, 2012
ugh the new blogger layout is so lag. anyway, mission success. next mission: getting a new phone. i really want SE Live with Walkman. i pray hard that it's still available, and that the price is something i can afford. i really want it!! i can't find a better phone than this. and recently the urge to dye hair is strong. don't really bother about the hair falls anymore since it's like the normal amount of hair i shed everyday. cause it doesn't seem like my hair is decreasing even though there's about like, 50 hairs i shed everyday. maybe more. but anyway my hair is not thinning. so i wanna dye my hair i'm so desperate that even dyeing black will be fine. i want some highlights on my hair. maybe i can dye black and the end of next year, after stpm, i put on some highlight. but those cost a lot of money. i'm too poor. bleh. Labels: September 2012
hey my birthday's almost here and i'm counting days i know someone will plan something special for me because i participated in someone's birthday surprise. that's a little bold to say but i really think so. i can't wait to go Straits Quay too. i freakin love the place will camwhore lots. please wish that i'll look pretty on that day. like, really pretty. feel like changing hairstyle again. currently having a thing for Nicole's hair in Pandora. anyway, changing hairstyle means shortening my hair even more. so, those are probably just words. and i'm waiting for my birthday is also because i'm waiting for that someone to text me because i texted her on her birthday and got a thank you reply. i tell myself that if she texts me, i'll ask if we can become friends again. if not, then maybe i'll just have to forget it. or wait for another opportunity? idk. i'm quite positive she'd text me though. if she doesn't, that... talk later. #nowplaying: Ze:A Phoenix Labels: September 2012
[CL] I’m trying to smile brightly but I don’t like it I’m not pretty, I’m not beautiful Oh oh oh oh x 2 [BOM] I’m trying to sing but No one is listening I’m not pretty, I’m not beautiful Oh oh oh oh x 2 [DARA] Why am I this ugly What must I do for me to be able to smile brightly like you? [MINJI] I’m getting angry again, why can’t I ever be perfect I simply put the blame on my ugly appearance in this broken mirror [BOM] Don’t look at me, I hate this feeling right now I want to hide away somewhere, I want to escape This world is full of lies [CL] I think I’m ugly And nobody wants to love me Just like her I wanna be pretty I wanna be pretty Don’t lie to my face tellin’ me I’m pretty I think I’m ugly And nobody wants to love me Just like her I wanna be pretty I wanna be pretty Don’t lie to my face cuz I know I’m ugly [MINJI] Don’t tell me that you can understand me so easily My ugly and crooked heart may even come to resent you [BOM] Don’t force me to talk, I’m not right for you The cold facade inside that patronizing gaze suffocates me [MINJI] Don’t come closer, I don’t even want your concern I want to leave away to somewhere, I want to shout out This world is full of lies [CL] I think I’m ugly And nobody wants to love me Just like her I wanna be pretty I wanna be pretty Don’t lie to my face tellin’ me I’m pretty I think I’m ugly And nobody wants to love me Just like her I wanna be pretty I wanna be pretty Don’t lie to my face cuz I know I’m ugly [DARA] All alone I’m all alone x 2 There is no such thing as warmth There is no one by my side All alone I’m all alone x 2 I’m always alone There’s no such thing as warmth Next to my side, there’s not even anyone to embrace me [CL] I think I’m ugly And nobody wants to love me Just like her I wanna be pretty I wanna be prety Don’t lie to my face tellin’ me I’m pretty I think I’m ugly And nobody wants to love me Just like her I wanna be pretty I wanna be pretty Don’t lie to my face cuz I know I’m ugly Labels: June 2012
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Run, run, run away…. Run, run, run away…. Run, run, run away…. 아무리 도망쳐 봐도 벗어 날 수 없어. A-mu-ri do-mang-chyeo bwa-do beos-eo nal su eobs-eo Run, run, runaway… 달리다 뒤돌아 봐도 넌 그대로 있어. Dal-li-da dwi-dol-a bwa-do neon geu-dae-ro iss-eo [Mithra's Verse] 눈앞이 검어. Nun-ap-i geom-eo 세상은 너무나도 빨리 걸어. Se-sang-eun neo-mu-na-do bbal-li geol-eo 나만 두 다리 절어. Na-man du da-li jeol-eo 갈 길이 한 없이 멀어. Gal gil-I han eobs-i meol-eo 이 길의 끝엔 뭐가 있을까? I gil-eui ggeut-en mweo-ga i-sseul-ga? 넌 알고 가는 가? Neon al-go ga-neun ga? 그냥 눈 감은 채 이끌려 간다면 답 아는가? Geu-nyang nun gam-eun chae i-ggeul-ryeo gan-da-myoen dab a-neun-ga? 이런 나의 질문엔 늘 답이 없는 하늘. I-reon na-eui jil-mun-en neul dab-I eobs-neun ha-neul 일상속에 묶인 두 팔은 꿈조차도 못 잡을 만큼 무거워. Il-sang-sok-e mukk-in du pal-eun ggum-jo-chi-do mot-jab-eul man-keum mu-geo-weo 겁이나 갇혀져 버린 나. Geob-i-na gad-hyeo-jyeo beo-rin na. 오늘 하루만 미친 척 달려버려 어딘가. O-neul ha-ru-man mi-chin cheok dal-ryeo-beo-ryeo eo-din-ga [Bridge] 하늘에 손이 닿을 때 까지 달려가. Ha-neul-e son-i dah-eul ddae gga-ji dal-ryeo-ga 가슴에 꿈이 찰 때까지 달려가. Ga-seum-e ggum-i chal ddae-ga-ji dal-ryeo-ga. Everybody run, run, run away…. 아무리 도망쳐 봐도 벗어 날 수 없어. A-mu-ri do-mang-chyeo bwa-do beos-eo nal su eobs-eo Everybody run, run, runaway… 달리다 뒤돌아 봐도 넌 그대로 있어. Dal-li-da dwi-dol-a bwa-do neon geu-dae-ro iss-eo You got me runnin’ runnin’ runnin’ around. Down, down, down. You got me runnin’ runnin’ runnin’ around. Down, down, down You got me runnin’ runnin’ runnin’ around. Down, down, down Away… 아무리 달려 봐도 제자리에 (한 없이 달려가는 너를 위해). A-mu-ri dal-ryeo bwa-do je-ja-ri-e (han eobs-I dal-ryeo-ga-neun neo-reul wi-hae) [Tablo's Verse] 내 삶은 365일 비가 쏟아지는 밤. Nae salm-eun 365 il bi-ga ssod-a-ji-neun bam 24시간속에 좁아지는 마음. 24 shi-gan-sok-e job-a-ji-neun ma-eum 작은 여유의 쉼표도 그 꼬리를 감추고, Jak-eun yeo-ja-eui swim-pyo-do geu ggo-ri-reul gam-chu-go 날 마주보는 미래는 마침표가 되지만… Nal ma-ju-bo-neun mi-rae-neun ma-chim-pyo-ga dwi-ji-man… 아침을 짊어지고 달려. A-chim-eul jilm-eo-ji-go dal-ryeo 뭘 향해 뛰는 건지? Mweol hyang-hae ddwi-neun geon-ji? 해가 지는 건지, 내가 지는 건지… Hae-ga ji-neun geon-ji, nae-ga ji-neun geon-ji.. I don’t know. But I go. Keep on runnin’ runnin’ runnin’ high. 거대한 은하수가 버린 어린 별인 나. Geo-dae-han eun-ha-su-ga beo-rin eo-rin byeol-in na [Bridge] 하늘에 손이 닿을 때 까지 달려가. Ha-neul-e son-i dah-eun ddae ga-ji dal-ryeo-ga. 가슴에 꿈이 찰 때까지 달려가. Ga-seum-e ggum-i chal ddae-ga-ji dal-ryeo-ga Everybody run, run, run away…. 아무리 도망쳐 봐도 벗어 날 수 없어. A-mu-ri do-mang-chyeo bwa-do beos-eo nal su eobs-eo Everybody run, run, runaway… 달리다 뒤돌아 봐도 넌 그대로 있어. Dal-ri-da dwi-dol-a bwa-do neon geu-dae-ro iss-eo You got me runnin’ runnin’ runnin’ around. Down, down, down. You got me runnin’ runnin’ runnin’ around. Down, down, down You got me runnin’ runnin’ runnin’ around. Down, down, down Away… 아무리 달려 봐도 제자리에 A-mu-ri dal-ryeo bwa-do je-ja-ri-e You got me runnin’ runnin’ runnin’ around. Down, down, down. You got me runnin’ runnin’ runnin’ around. Down, down, down You got me runnin’ runnin’ runnin’ around. Down, down, down Away… 한 없이 달려가는 너를 위해 Han eobs-i dal-ryeo-ga-neun neo-reul wi-hae Labels: June 2012
Run, run, run away…. Run, run, run away…. Run, run, run away…. No matter how much I run (I can’t escape from it). Run, run, runaway. If I look back while running (You’re still there). [Mithra's Verse] It’s pitch dark. The world moves on too fast. I’m the only one who’s limping on both legs. The path I must walk is endless. What’s at the end of this path? Are you going there knowing about it? Will I learn the answers if I go there with my eyes closed? The sky that never responds to a such question. The two arms tied up by a daily life is too heavy to embrace dreams. I’m scared, I’ve been abandoned locked away. Just for today run somewhere like you’re crazy. [Bridge] Run till you can touch the sky with your hands. Run till your heart is filled with your dreams. Everybody run, run, run away… No matter how much I run (I can’t escape from it). Everybody run, run, runaway… If I look back while running (You’re still there). You got me runnin’ runnin’ runnin’ around. Down, down, down. You got me runnin’ runnin’ runnin’ around. Down, down, down. You got me runnin’ runnin’ runnin’ around. Down, down, down. Away… No matter how much I run, I’m still on the same spot. [Tablo's Verse] My life is a rainy night that rains 365 days. Heart that gets smaller in every 24 hours. I even hid the small comma and its tail, then the future that awaits me becomes a period… But carry the new day on your shoulder and run. What am I running towards? Weather if the sun’s setting or I if I’m loosing… I don’t know. But I go. Keep on runnin’ runnin’ runnin’ high. I’m the young star that has been abandoned by the galaxy. [Bridge] Run till you can touch the sky with your hands. Run till your heart is filled with your dreams. Everybody run, run, run away… No matter how much I run (I can’t escape from it). Everybody run, run, runaway… If I look back while running (You’re still there). You got me runnin’ runnin’ runnin’ around. Down, down, down. You got me runnin’ runnin’ runnin’ around. Down, down, down. You got me runnin’ runnin’ runnin’ around. Down, down, down. Away… No matter how much I run, I’m still on the same spot. You got me runnin’ runnin’ runnin’ around. Down, down, down. You got me runnin’ runnin’ runnin’ around. Down, down, down. You got me runnin’ runnin’ runnin’ around. Down, down, down. Away… For you, who’s running endlessly. Labels: June 2012
oh god Sunggyu what in the world are you doing to me *___* it's really impossible to have one bias in Infinite >__> Labels: June 2012
Thursday, June 21, 2012
my heart feels heavy... want to bite something. maybe i can cut before i go to sleep tonight. Labels: June 2012
i feel so sick my heart is sick my brain is sick my mental is sick im wondering why isnt my body sick so i can skip school tomorrow... and rot in my bed... really, i've never felt this hateful to go to school before... sick. Labels: June 2012
suddenly feeling sad... i don't want to go to school tomorrow... i hate that place... it still feels alien to me... i don't want... just... Labels: June 2012
He opens his eyes when he feels something shift beside him. Myungsoo's already getting up, putting on his tank top. Sunggyu rubs his eyes and sits up on his bed. "Leaving already?" "Yeah. Why, do you want me to stay longer?" Myungsoo climbs back to Sunggyu's bed in only his boxers and mesh tank top. He smooths a hand over Sunggyu's exposed milky thigh. "It's okay. You can leave if you want to. I'll have to go to work in two hours," Sunggyu rests his hand on Myungsoo's when the younger male scoots closer and claims Sunggyu's lips in his, kissing him slowly and dragging their lips lazily. "Gyu," Myungsoo starts when he breaks the kiss, "do you think you can fit me into your company?" Sunggyu frowns, not quite sure of what the younger means. Seeing the confused look on the older's face, Myungsoo smirks and continues, "I know there's some leech in your company. I will provide you all the evidences you'll need to kick him out, as long as you give me his position in the company. How does that sound?" Sunggyu looks away from Myungsoo's eyes and stops his gaze at some random corner of his room, brain trying to process what Myungsoo's just said. "Why? I have all the qualifications needed for that position. I'm not a human after all, you know that after what we've had last night," Myungsoo places a hand on his jaw to turn Sunggyu's face so that the older's facing him, "so what's the problem?" "S-stil..." Sunggyu's hesistating, because if anything goes wrong, he'll lose his position in the company. It's damn risky. But then Myungsoo says: "You'll do it." and all doubts are cleared from his mind. ----------------------------------------- Sunggyu's sitting in his office, looking through all the papers that's on his table. Included in the stack of papers are the evidences that prove the wrongdoings of the suspected department head. That Myungsoo's really something, Sunggyu thinks, before getting up from his chair to head towards his boss' office and throw the evidences in his face (not literally). ----------------------------------------- "So, Soo, you'll be working in my company starting from tomorrow," Sunggyu takes the cup of coffee offered by Myungsoo. They're both sitting comfortably on the couch in Myungsoo's living room. "Thank you, Gyu," Myungsoo smiles that blinding smile of his, it's so bright Sunggyu has to look elsewhere. "Now tell me what you want as reward?" The older male takes a sip of the coffee in his hand and places the cup back on the table. "What will you give me?" He gazes straight into Myungsoo's eyes, as if challenging him. Myungsoo, getting the hint, scoots closer to the other guy who in turn grabs Myungsoo's collar and pulls him roughly towards his lap. Sunggyu tries to kiss him, pulling him down but his action is stopped when the younger places his index finger in between their lips. "No, tell me what you want." "You know I want you. Stop teasing me," Labels: June 2012
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
oh god Sungjong you're another precious bb XD his reaction when he found the best gun hidden in the trash can WAS EPIC, PRICELESS HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA MY STOMACH HURTS ;_____; DOES HE NEED TO GASP LIKE THAT?! HAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAAHHAHA OMG Labels: June 2012
oh god Dongwoo is just so cute i can't stop laughing at how precious he is~ watching Ranking King ep 4 it's the best!! so full of suspense... Dongwoo is just so precious XDD he got me laughing because of his candid actions almost got me drooling ugh Labels: June 2012
Bed of Roses just gets more interesting. Chapter 6 just got me crying especially after it's mentioned that Sunggyu plays Only Tears on his piano and a few words after that, Only Tears is really playing on my Winamp. coincidence? what? Labels: June 2012
just what's wrong with today why is everything so fucked up i woke up, feeling really tired but that's normal and then when i wanna get dressed, noticed i left the school clothes i washed hanging on the bathroom door which means by the time i remembered that shit they're not dried because i didn't hang them properly. isn't that so fucked up. and then i went to iron them and noticed some yucky yellow and black stains on my white shirt fuck that! wtf are those! and then watched some cute video of Dongwoo-bb slipping that lifted my mood a little. i was determined to become like him it's okay if it's awkward just smile and laugh all the way~ but went to school, had gastric pain, good thing i keep the meds in my bag. and then feeling low blood pressure. it's not like i eat too little... must be the period draining my blood. and then having some trouble with the class stuffs and worse, the Biology experiment i was clueless all along and then the report had to be handed in by 24 hours but i ain't going to the damn school tomorrow i had no idea how to hand it in fuck that shit. ran out of correction tapes too. and then i come back, noticed the only rabbit is dead. at first my dad asked me to clean it up but i gave him that look and i'm very glad he didn't insist that i do it. when i'm pissed off like this about a bad day, i have the urge to increase my piercings. 5 sounds a lot, but it's not enough, really. i want more piercings. what should i do about tomorrow .___. OTL Labels: June 2012
Monday, June 18, 2012
Working is his life. It sounds really boring, but that's his life, Kim Sunggyu's life. He can't really do anything about it, especially being the second-in-command of a very huge company in Seoul brings out the workaholic side of him he never knew existed. Not to mention the biggest boss in the company doesn't really do anything but giving orders and talking craps, so even though being the second-in-command, he feels like he is the boss of the company. That's just how heavy his responsibility is. Plus, recently there's this rumour about one of the head departments living off the company's money. It's not something new or rare, who doesn't want to live in luxury with free money (if you're not caught, that is)? It's really giving him headache, when all he hears are rumours and not a solid evident in his hand. He's been working his ass off and he needs a break. Like, really badly. He's walking alone to the car park of the company at 10PM, and instead of heading home, he decides to head straight to the one of the biggest clubs in Seoul. He needs to dance and drink the stress away (but not too much alcohol, he still needs to work the next day). He relaxes when he gets into his Audi TT, sighing almost immediately after his back hits the black leather seat. He throws his suitcase onto the passenger's seat and removes his coat to throw it there as well. With a finger, he loosens his necktie while massaging his temples with his other hand, eyes closed. It was really a long day. Sunggyu has expected a fully packed club, so it doesn't surprise him when he gets sandwiched by random teenagers the moment he steps into the place. He's being pushed to the dance floor, but he's not complaining. That's his purpose of going there anyway. He yanks his tie to throw it away somewhere in the club, and yanks open the upper half of his buttoned white shirt as well. It doesn't matter if that tie's one of his favourites or the four buttons of the shirt he yanked flew towards different directions and hit random people in the head, all he wants is to let loose. He pushes his way to the middle of the dance floor and starts moving his hips to the beat, ignoring when his crotch comes into contact with some random girl or guy's ass. He closes his eyes to concentrate on nothing else but the music, when he feels hands on his chest. He opens his eyes and looks down, but nothing is there. He turns around and searches, but no one is looking or concentrating at him. Who the hell is trolling him? Deciding that he doesn't really want to be disturbed by that, he continues throwing his arms around, however, he keeps his eyes open just in case someone wants to troll him again. After half an hour of moving non-stop, his white shirt is soaked in sweat and it looks as if he's not wearing anything on his torso. He considers removing his shirt and walk around half-naked, but he dare not imagine if any of the employees in his company sees him like that in club. No, he better not take the risk. He throws the thought away and proceeds to an empty seat in the bar to get some drinks. While waiting for his Brandy Alexander, he pulls off another button off his shirt (it's too hot, and when he gets hot he gets frustrated). He lets out a sigh, feeling like he's not danced enough. Sunggyu's downing his fourth drink, when he feels someone placing a hand on his shoulder. He turns around immediately (it might be one of his employees) to find his face just a few centimeters from a guy's, whose eyes looks so huge and beautiful yet so... empty. He's completely drawn into the stranger's pitch-black eyes he didn't notice how long he's been staring into them. It feels like an eternity before the stranger finally breaks the eye contact and squeezes Sunggyu's shoulder lightly. Embarrassed, Sunggyu turns to look at his empty glass awkwardly until the guy takes up the seat beside him and looks at him, eyes amused. "Alone?" the male asks, lips curving into a sweet smile while his eyes disappear into slits. Sunggyu eyes him suspiciously, he doesn't really feel like making friends but somehow... He can't find it in him to just push the male away. Something tells him he can trust the guy. So... "Yeah." He learns that the stranger's name is Myungsoo, and he's 3 years younger. They talk a lot, feeling comfortable with each other in a short amount of time. Before they part, they promise to keep in contact. Or at least, Sunggyu will if Myungsoo won't. That maybe sounds a little creepy, but Sunggyu finds Myungsoo really fascinating, and he wants to get closer to him. ------------------------------- Sunggyu goes to work with a slight headache the next day but he doesn't mind because he'll meet Myungsoo again after work, in the same club. He keeps looking at his watch during work, and then he'll sigh. Why does time pass so slowly. ------------------------------- He gets into his baby Audi TT and goes to pick Myungsoo up (he offered to, like a gentleman he is). When Sunggyu reaches Myungsoo's place, he realizes that the guy's living in some expensive condo. He wonders what Myungsoo does for a living and makes a mental note to ask him later. He waits in his car until Myungsoo comes down, appearing in black mesh tank top with a leather jacket and skinny black jeans. Damn, Sunggyu swears he's almost drooling when his jacket reveals the nipple behind it occasionally while he walks. Myungsoo opens the passenger's door with style and steps in, not forgetting to flash his smile and exchange greetings with Sunggyu. "So what do you do for a living? That's quite an expensive condo you have there," Sunggyu starts, when he decides it's the perfect time to ask about it. They're in the club now, sitting in the same spot as yesterday, holding their second glass of the day. Myungsoo lifts his gaze from the glass to make eye contact with Sunggyu before replying, "I'm currently unemployed. Those are my parents' money. I'm looking for a job though. What about you?" Sunggyu notices the way Myungsoo licks his lips after he's finished his sentence. He curses silently when he feels the place got hotter, and he blames it on the alcohol. "Me? I'm working in Woollim Company," Sunggyu's voice cracks the moment he says his company's name. He coughs, and then excuses himself to the washroom to just splash his face with some cold water. He sighs. It's only his second glass, why does he feel so hot? Normally the effect kicks in after his third of fourth glass. He unbuttons the end of his long sleeves to fold them up to his elbows and wets his face with the cold water. Thinking that he's not unbuttoned enough, he undoes the fourth button on his striped shirt. He looks up into the mirror to find Myungsoo standing behind him, watching him through the reflection. Myungsoo walks closer to Sunggyu until he can feel Myungsoo's breath on his skin, making him shiver. He gasps when Myungsoo snakes a hand onto his abs, the other hand tight around his waist. The hand on his abs travels up slowly to touch the smooth expanse of skin Sunggyu just revealed a minute earlier. He traces the gap in between his chest with a finger, and proceeds to unfasten all the other buttons on his shirt before moving down to his belt. Realizing what Myungsoo's about to do, Sunggyu stops him with a hold on his wrist. Sunggyu shakes his head and whispers breathily, "Myungsoo, not here." Myungsoo turns to meet Sunggyu's eyes. 'His eyes... were not this light shade of brown yesterday...' Sunggyu thinks to himself, when he realizes the greenish black veins appearing slowly on his neck and jaw. He's supposed to be freaked out, but then Myungsoo turns him around and presses his lips against Sunggyu's, hips pinning him to the counter. Sunggyu forgets everything else, just concentrating on the feel of Myungsoo's hips and lips on him. Labels: June 2012
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Woohyun doesn't feel like waking up even though it's already 12pm. He stays under the blanket, hugging the bolster while thinking about what to eat later, or what to do (he thinks about anything, as long as it doesn't make him remember yesterday night's events). After ten minutes of doing nothing, he finally surrenders and gets off his bed. He ends up in a fast food restaurant for lunch (brunch?). It feels pathetic to eat alone but what can he do? His colleagues are still working and he doesn't really keep in contact with old friends. Maybe he should just find a girlfriend or a boyfriend but he doesn't have the time for it. He looks around to find couples sitting everywhere in the restaurant. Stupid couples. Why are they so free? He eats faster and gets out of the place. He walks to his apartment slowly, very slowly, it's almost like he's dragging his feet instead of walking. He's trying to drag the time with him as well because he's really got nothing to do during his day off. He sighs when he's less than a kilometer away from his apartment. He keeps walking (dragging his feet) until he reaches the front of his apartment and looks up at the balcony of his room on the 3rd floor. He didn't expect to see anything there, but he just looks up out of instinct. His heart feels like it's going to jump out of its place when he finds Myungsoo standing there, looking down and smirking at him. It's his usual cold and expressionless face, even the smirk looks fake. His face looks fake to Woohyun too, because it's too perfect (yes, Woohyun's accusing him of being plastic). They just stand there, eyes staring into eyes. Woohyun tries to read Myungsoo's expression, but to no avail. He should be wondering why and how Myungsoo get in there, but Myungsoo's pretty face keeps him busy wondering why is he so... unreal and angelic and mysterious and... Evil. Woohyun blinks once and then Myungsoo is gone. Woohyun rubs his eyes and looks everywhere for a trace of Myungsoo. When he finds none, he proceeds into his apartment. He's freaked out, yes, but after what he saw the night before makes him less surprised. In his eyes, Myungsoo is already not a human. He goes straight to his balcony the moment he gets into his apartment to check if Myungsoo's anywhere near there. When he confirms that Myungsoo is not there, he feels relieved, and disappointed at the same time. He walks to the railings of the balcony and stands there to enjoy the wind blowing softly to his face. There's not much to see from 3rd floor, he thinks, so he turns around to head back into his room when he finds himself face-to-face with Kim Myungsoo's angelic face. He's immediately pressed against the railings because there's nowhere for him to back off. Myungsoo scoots closer with a glint of amusement in his eyes, trapping Woohyun in between him and the rails with his hand. "Like what you saw?" Woohyun can feel Myungsoo's warm breath on his lips as he speaks from such close proximity. He just shakes his head (because Myungsoo is pressing their chests together and that just kills Woohyun's ability to either think or speak properly) before he feels Myungsoo's chest rub against his when he laughs. "I know you liked it... Do you want to feel it for yourself?" Woohyun feels Myungsoo place a hand at the back of his neck and shivers when Myungsoo licks the area behind his ear. Woohyun knows this isn't right, that he should push Myungsoo away, and maybe beat him to a pulp before kicking him out and losing his job right there and then, but he just can't find the strength to do it. His body loves Myungsoo's ministrations, he finds himself wanting more of him. Woohyun pushes both of them into his room and onto his bed, not bothering to shut the door to his balcony. He pins his boss down and straddles his hips (all the while wondering if he'll get fired if he does that but screw it, Kim Myungsoo the walking sex is right in front of him seducing him, nothing matters to him anymore) before Myungsoo grabs the front of his shirt to pull him down. Woohyun lets Myungsoo devour his lips and mouth hungrily, moaning when Myungsoo presses Woohyun's hips down onto his, rubbing their clothed erections together. Woohyun breaks the kiss and sits up to remove the taller's necktie and shirt before removing his own tee. He wiggles out of his sweatpants while Myungsoo unbuckles his own belt and undoes his zipper to make it easier for Woohyun to remove his pants. After they're finally stripped down to their underwear, Myungsoo flips them around and uses his necktie to tie Woohyun's hands together. Woohyun feels a finger trace down his abs, goes lower, and lower... And stops when the finger reaches his inner thigh. All Woohyun wants is to grab Myungsoo's wrist and place his hand on his dick but his hands are tied up. He tries to buck up his hips but he can't move, as Myungsoo's sitting on his laps. He groans in frustration when he knows there's nothing he can do. Myungsoo leans in and whispers into Woohyun's ear. "Do you touch yourself while thinking about me?" Woohyun squirms under Myungsoo and groans into the pillow from both embarrassment and feeling even more turned on. Myungsoo just chuckles at his reaction and proceeds to place his palm on Woohyun's clothed erection while rubbing his nipple with the other hand. He palms Woohyun a little before ripping the piece of cloth off his skin easily before continues to palm him. "Do you rub yourself like this when you think about me?" Woohyun moans loudly, Myungsoo's hands on him, breath on him and dirty-talking with that husky voice is just too much for him to handle. Myungsoo bites Woohyun's neck a little too hard but it just gets Woohyun even hornier than he already is. He continues to lick and suck on that particular spot that drives Woohyun crazy while his hands are still teasing his nipple and pumping him slowly. When Myungsoo increases his pace, Woohyun grabs Myungsoo on the back of his head and slams their mouths together to keep himself from moaning too loud. It's been months since Woohyun last get laid so it doesn't take him long to reach the peak. He comes all over Myungsoo's hand and both their thighs and stomachs. He covers his face with his still tied-up hands while he catches his breath when he hears Myungsoo chuckle. He removes his hands from his face to find Myungsoo looking at him, smiling. He's so drawn into the smile that he reaches up to touch Myungsoo's face without himself realizing. Myungsoo just closes his eyes and leans into Woohyun's hand that's on his cheek. It's as if the world has stopped along with Myungsoo when he stops moving like that, everything just feels so... unreal. Suddenly Woohyun remembers he still has unfinished business with the younger male. He sits up and kisses down Myungsoo's smooth milky neck, while his hands tries to tug Myungsoo's underwear off. Getting the hint of Woohyun's action, he lifts his ass from Woohyun's lap to remove his own underwear. Woohyun takes that chance to remove his legs from under Myungsoo and uses his teeth to untie the necktie binding his hands together. When he's done, he attacks and pins Myungsoo down onto the bed to lick his neck like he's been hungry for years. He sucks on his collarbone and proceeds down to his nipple. He can feel Myungsoo's hand on his head pushing him closer to himself but he doesn't obey that. Instead, he proceeds lower and blows some hot breath on the taller male's lollipop. He sucks the head like he's really sucking a lollipop, making Myungsoo moan loudly. He presses his tongue flat on the slit, licks the precum off and keeps sucking as if that wasn't enough for him. Myungsoo tries to fuck Woohyun's hot mouth but the older's hands keeps his hips in place. Woohyun finally deep-throats him, deep and slow. He moans when he feels the head at the back of his throat, like a cockwhore he is. He bobs his head up and down, keeping the pace and stops to suck it deeply. His hands leave Myungsoo's hips to caress his shaft slowly while his mouth works on sucking and licking the head. When he does that, he gets Myungsoo coming in a minute. He licks and swallows all of his fragments. Who in the right state of his mind doesn't want those? "What are you?" Woohyun asks breathily after he lies down beside Myungsoo, staring up at the ceiling. He sees him smiling from his peripheral vision before replying, "Something you don't want to know." Woohyun turns to look at him. "What if i want to?" "Then you're making the biggest mistake of your life." "Isn't it a little too late already now?" Myungsoo turns to look at Woohyun and blinks. "Well, yeah..." "So tell me!" Woohyun pouts, trying to work his aegyo on the beautiful creature. "I am a half-demon. I live off humans' energy." Woohyun licks his lips, he actually liked what he heard. Freak. "So are you going to suck off my energy now?" Woohyun asks, the idea of dying by Myungsoo's hands isn't really a bad idea to him. "Not today, since i've just fed on Sunggyu yesterday..." Woohyun feels happy and disappointed. But then Myungsoo continues, "I like how you taste though." Myungsoo climbs on top of Woohyun to breathe right onto his face, "you're mine now." Woohyun just officially gets into a deep shit but he doesn't mind because it's Kim Myungsoo. Labels: June 2012
Friday, June 15, 2012
There is a new guy in Woohyun's department. He ranks higher than Woohyun despite being a year younger, and Woohyun suspects that it has something to do with his face (no he's not jealous of the new guy, really. But he still can't figure out why he can't bring himself to call that new guy "boss"). Two days later, Woohyun finds out that his new boss' name is Kim Myungsoo, and he's got sexy lips (every part of his new boss is attractive and sexy, but somehow he's got this thing for his lips). While Woohyun's daydreaming about dating his hot boss in front of his computer, work all forgotten, he notices something else about the new guy. Kim Myungsoo looks especially close to their higher boss, Kim Sunggyu, who is as charismatic as the new guy is. Okay, maybe even more charismatic than the new guy (don't look down on his small eyes, he sees everything that's going on in the company) considering that he's acquired such position at the young age of 24. The sight of Kim Sunggyu and Kim Myungsoo walking together or discussing something in either's office makes the female employees squeal at the perfection and trip over their own heels. It's that serious, really. Woohyun is sure something is going on between his two bosses. It's suspicious, really. And there's a rumour saying that Sunggyu's the one who brought Myungsoo to his company when his previous department boss got kicked out. Maybe they're dating even before Myungsoo appears as their boss like a boss. At least that's how Woohyun suspects them to be. He might be wrong so he doesn't want to share his idea with his coworkers. He sounds like a gossip bitch but it's not his fault that Kim Myungsoo and Kim Sunggyu are such hot issues now. "G-Good morning boss," Woohyun curses himself when he stuttered. He really didn't expect to see his boss touching his own face in front of the mirror in the washroom. However the way Myungsoo quickly hides whatever he's holding (it looks like compact powder...?) before turning to Woohyun and nod makes Woohyun really curious. I mean, it's not that weird to see a pretty guy like him fix his makeup in the washroom... Woohyun even thought he put many more stuffs on his face rather than just some compact powder to make his face look so flawless. Life is really unfair. Myungsoo turns to get out of the washroom and accidentally brushes their shoulders when he walks past Woohyun. Even if just for a second, Woohyun catches a glimpse of some faint black lines on Myungsoo's jaw and ear. After his boss is out of the room, Woohyun still stands there wondering if what he just saw was not his eyes trolling him. He makes up his mind that his eyes were just trolling him and proceeds to do his business. Woohyun tries to peek into Myungsoo's office, to see if he's in there. He's somehow unsatisfied for he is quite sure of what he saw. Now that he recalls back, the colour of Myungsoo's eyes from the reflection of the mirror from just now seems a little lighter than his usual dark shade of brown. It might just be the lighting, he tries to reason with himself. Anyway, if the information he get from peeking is right, Myungsoo isn't in his office. Where could he possibly go? Maybe in Sunggyu's office... He feels the urge to hang around Sunggyu's office on the 18th floor to... eavesdrop? But, but... no. He still has work to do. He turns to his computer, pushes his glasses into place and starts typing away. He's perfectly distracted until he notices someone walking past him and into Myungsoo's office. With much difficulty, he rotates his head (and has it cracking once, loudly) to look at the direction of the office to find that Myungsoo's back in his office(he has to squint his eyes to look through the small gaps in between the curtains). An hour later, Woohyun stands up from his seat and starts picking up his things to go home. At the same time, Myungsoo walks out of his office looking much messier than when Woohyun had seen him an hour ago. Realizing his opportunity to observe his boss' face, he rudely stares at Myungsoo's face (but he didn't care, guess he's used to the attention) to search for the signs of abnormality he (thinks) he saw earlier in the washroom. Woohyun wastes three seconds of his life to stare at the perfection that is his boss and finds nothing abnormal about his eyes and skin around his jaw and ear. Finally, he believes that it was his eyes that was trolling him. --------------- Woohyun almost falls asleep on his keyboard. Working overtime and being alone in the whole office with the empty tables totally sucks (and creepy), but he has this report he has to finish so he can rest tomorrow. He braces himself and continues typing on his keyboard. When he finally finishes, he feels like screaming like he's at the top of the world. However, he needs to fix his appearance before going into Myungsoo's office to submit the report as he looks totally at home right now. He quickly gets up and runs to the washroom to wash his face, fix his shirt and tie and hair and runs out again, excited (to submit the report and go home and... to face and talk to Myungsoo). Woohyun is arranging the papers and files on his table happily when he hears... a moan? His eyes widens, and he feels chill running down his spine. And then there's another moan. This time, Woohyun is sure he wasn't imagining things. He eyes Myungsoo's office suspiciously. The light is on, and Woohyun feels the urge to peek through the glass in between the curtains again (because this time, the curtains are slightly apart). He moves slowly and quietly from his table towards the suspicious office, and makes sure he's hidden by the curtain before he peeks in. He's completely surprised by the sight that greets him. He sees half-naked Myungsoo deep-throating and sucking the naked Sunggyu while the older male leans against the table for support. Myungsoo's back is facing Woohyun, but when Myungsoo turns his head a little for a brief second to take a little more of Sunggyu into his mouth, Woohyun swears he sees the black lines on his ear, neck and jaw. And then Sunggyu moans again, distracting Woohyun from whatever he's thinking about. He swallows hard, almost feeling like he can feel whatever Myungsoo's doing to Sunggyu by just looking at his expression and the way his body moves under Myungsoo's ministrations. When Sunggyu comes, Woohyun's mind keeps shouting for him to leave immediately, but his heart refuses. He's curious, he wants to know more, to see more. He stays there, even when Myungsoo stands up and wipes his mouth with his hand before pulling Sunggyu in for a heated kiss. He pulls Sunggyu's hair to the back, breaking the kiss. Myungsoo stops moving for a while, while Sunggyu's breathing hard and face distorted in pain by the way Myungsoo's pulling his hair. Suddenly Myungsoo turns around and catches Woohyun's eyes with his sharp ones. Woohyun's completely taken aback, but not by Myungsoo's action, instead it's Myungsoo's face. The sides of his face is covered by black and green veins, and they extend until his chest. Myungsoo's eyes are the colour of honey, instead of the normal dark brown. Their eyes meet for a second before Woohyun runs out of the place and straight to his home. Screw report, screw the bosses. Screw whatever creature Myungsoo is. ........ After a second thought, he decides he'll just ask his colleague to submit the report on his table to Myungsoo tomorrow. Myungsoo. What exactly is he? Those veins... they aren't something normal humans should have. He should have known something's wrong with Myungsoo the moment he steps into the building (because he's too perfect, almost like an angel). Except he's no angel, Woohyun is quite sure, it's as if he could feel some evil aura seeping out of Myungsoo the moment their eyes meet. What exactly is this beautiful creature called Kim Myungsoo? Labels: June 2012
Thursday, June 14, 2012
When he was born, There wasn't a heartbeat, There wasn't a breath. And there wasn't an end To his cries. Staring back at her, A creature So beautiful With not a sign Of imperfection On its figure. His heart beats When he reaches 7 He knows He has a job A mission He has to fulfill For he Can not escape His destiny Of being created By the hands Of the sinful. Labels: June 2012
Friday, June 1, 2012
mianhae ma doghage nal beorigo tteonado dwae niga wonhan damyeon geurae good bye heona nae mamkkaji jeobeungeon anya nae sarangi igyeo aiya meonjeo ga eogiya diyeoracha eogiyadiya doechajeul kkeoya jamsiya apseodo neol ttara jabeuri nan~ geunyeoreul jikyeora nal itji motage nae nimi gyesin got kkeutkkaji garyeonda ijeobeoryeo ibyeorui mal ape meomchwo ganeungaseum chigo mureup kkureobon na kkeojyeo beoryeo sseokkeun jangjaggateun seulpeume tabeorin nal kkeureo bonda sigeun ne mami wae ajig nae maeumeulmaeil seolleigo hemaege haneunji georeobonda sarange nal gudge mandeulji tto aiya meonjeo ga eogiya diyeoracha eogiyadiya doechajeul kkeoya jamsiya apado gyeolgugen useuri nan~ geunyeoreul jikyeora nal itji motage nae nimi gyesin got kkeutkkaji garyeonda georireul jobhyeora nae sone jabhige nae nimeul chajaseo nae jeonbul geollyeonda geurae na doghan mameuro neol beoriryeohaesseo aesseo bonneungeul jitbalba beorimyeo heuryeojin neoe daehan jibchagttohan da~ sarangira~ naebaetneun nan~tto dojeohi neol nohjido kkeunhjido motae oneuldo mwongae hollin deut nungae maejhinneoreul jjocha mianhae girl jeoldae neoran kkeuneul nohjin anheullae naega ni mam dollil kkeoni gwaenchanha gaseum jwi tteudgyeodo byeolgeo aniya geunyeoreul jikyeora nal itji motage nae nimi gyesin got kkeutkkaji garyeonda nae mami geureohji hanaman araseo kkeokkgigo apado neol sarang haryeonda mianhae ma doghage nal beorigo tteonado dwae niga wonhan damyeon geurae good bye heona nae mamkkaji jeobeun geon anya Labels: June 2012
Don’t be sorry, you can abandon me spitefully and leave If that’s what you want, yeah, good bye But that doesn’t mean I have given up too My love wins Iya^, go first, uhgiya diyuracha^ Uhgiyadiya^ I will win her back Even if you’re ahead for a bit, I will catch up Protect her, so she won’t forget me I will go till the end to the place where my person is Forget it, I knelt down and beat my heart that paused in front of the words of separation Go away, I drag myself, who is burnt with sadness that is like rotton firewood Why is your cooled heart making my heart race and wander every day? I’m calling you, making myself stronger with love Iya, go first, uhgiya diyuracha Uhgiyadiya I will win her back Even if I’ll hurt for a bit, I will smile once again Protect her, so she won’t forget me I will go till the end to the place where my person is Narrow the streets so I can catch you I will risk everything to find my person Yes, I tried to cast you out with a spitefulheart as I trampled on my instincts My obsession toward you became faint And I’m calling it all love once again Again today, I can’t let you go or cut you out As if I’m possesed, I chase after you, who is filled in my eyes I’m sorry girl, I don’t ever want to let go of the line that is you But it’s okay because I will turn back your heart It’s not a big deal even if my heart is ripped apart Protect her, so she won’t forget me I will go till the end to the place where my person is My heart is like that, I only know one thing So even though it is bent and in pain, it will love you Don’t be sorry, you can abandon me spitefully and leave If that’s what you want, yeah, good bye But that doesn’t mean I have given up too Labels: June 2012
Monday, May 28, 2012
as usual, i have tons of things running through my mind. Wondering why do i spoil my life like this when im perfectly fine i got the brain, face and body im almost perfect. But no, im used to look only at negative stuffs. Im lazy, i dont have soft skills needed for a grown-up life, i dont have confidence, im overly shy, im scared of everything, i dont care for my teeth, my ears and eyes are deteriorating... Im just 18. Why am i like this? What went wrong? Why am i not like others? What's wrong with me, really? The next minute i love myself so much, the next minute i want to die so badly. Im not depressed, im just worried that i might never change. Im scared of everything and look at everything negatively. What should i do? Labels: May 2012
Saturday, May 19, 2012
cut my left ring finger while peeling pumpkin today. it was deep, i managed to draw out a lot of blood. it wasn't all that painful, just some discomfort. Labels: May 2012
R.I.P Lucifer. thanks for the beautiful 1 year and 8 months. you were my second, but you'll be my last. i'll remember how your red flares your blue shines and your purple mystifies. your gorgeous strings of fins that resemble a dragon's captivated my heart at first sight i'll never forget how beautiful they were. thank you, Lucifer. Labels: May 2012
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
well my wish i managed to fulfill it. but less fun cause it was only a short walk. and i wasn't even listening to Nell's albums. and after that there's some extra weight coming with me. i couldn't even enjoy my solitude. Labels: May 2012
i feel disgusted when i take the money from his wallet. they're not even his money anyway. i wonder where his own money went. Labels: May 2012
Sunday, April 29, 2012
i have a wish. I want to walk in the streets during the time everyone is asleep even better, if it's after rain. While walking listen to Nell's songs enjoy the night breeze enjoy the solitude enjoy the world owned by me enjoy the nothingness enjoy the time enjoy the moment... It's really my wish. Imagine how nice it will feel. But it's almost impossible to do this in this wrecked country. Why was i not born in Korea? Labels: April 2012
what am i doing with my life? What am i doing with myself? What am i doing to myself? Just what am i doing? Labels: April 2012
i think im losing weight again i think im losing taste again i think i broke my heart again will you stay with me? Will you stay with me? I think i lost my love again maybe i sold my love again i think im left with none but pain will you stay with me? Will you stay with me? Nell - Tokyo Labels: April 2012
Saturday, April 21, 2012
I still hear your voice I still feel your touch Now I live in your path again I still see your image I still feel your warmness Now I live in your time again From the vision of a stranger passing by From the leaf that rides the wind and sorrowfully sways From the air in the night that brush against m face All I see, I hear, I feel You are there Yes How about you? Are you feeling the same as me How about you? I still feel you Even when I’m singing now I see you I will see you again tomorrow I will hear you again tomorrow Tomorrow will be just like as it is now At the empty chair, sitting there Inside the glass I instinctively grab to drink Inside the mirror that I look to see myself Inside the song that tenderly come and rests on my ear You are there What shall I do now? You probably have removed everything now What do we do now? The door of wanting opens Your memories come and find me My eyes turn red The door of wanting opens Your memories come and find me My heart keeps getting torn Labels: April 2012
is there any way to make things better? why is this year so fucked up. i want to complain to someone well i have a BFF but when i imagine myself telling her i feel pissed off even more. she definitely isn't interested, well nobody is, but she wouldn't even play nice and act like she cares. she doesn't really bother anyway. it's not her problem. useless. why does it seem like i have no one to complain to? so pathetic. all i can do is complain to this blog and ironically i'll still be the only one reading it. yeah but still since no one's gonna hear it i'll just say it all here. easy, no worries about someone spilling your secrets to the world. Labels: April 2012
“Heart-Strings” My heart is like a guitar. You strum it’s strings gingerly at first, Getting a feel for the sound. You tighten them, plucking and tuning over time. Eventually, you play the right melody, Gradually changing tunes and learning new songs. Until one day, you strike the wrong chord; The string snaps, and my heart breaks. -- Rachel Lynn Clark-- “Sonnet of Love to my Bed” Dear bed, you have captured my heart today. I hear you calling my name longingly, Begging me to come back without delay. Even I think leaving is a tragedy. The pain struck sky is ready to release Those tears held back as I call for divorce. For now class is calling for us to cease Our love affair before it hits full force. As the sky breaks down I keep my resolve. Oh, sweet, darling bed of mine, I’ll be back Ready for you to comfort and dissolve My stress and worries as I hit the sack. I hesitate as the sky starts weeping. I dare not deny my bed of sleeping. --Rachel Lynn Clark-- Labels: April 2012
Thursday, April 12, 2012
there was earthquake around 4-5pm just now. first time experiencing earthquake. i was on bed, listening to Nell's songs when my bed suddenly shook i was thinking it might be the wind, and ignored it. then it shook again, and i thought my bed never shook even on stormy nights it might be earthquake? so i got up and went to check on my fish yeah, his water was shaking Lucifer looked kinda panic too lol. and the ground was like moving so confirmed, it was earthquake .____. and then there was the siren at that time idk what it was. at 6++ i got up and get ready for dinner walking around the house didn't even notice there was second wave of earthquake. and there was the siren again. idek why the siren was sounded for the second time. mum went out and kepoh found out it was to evacuate people from beach. went out and came back, online, and found out there were two waves of earthquake didn't realize the second one .___. it must've been quite minor one (for here) #prayforsumatera Labels: April 2012
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
playing The Day Before by NELL on repeat. loving the song and the MV, so beautiful yet heartbreaking. Labels: April 2012
heyy. went to Gurney to watch movie with MK. we actually planned to go there to watch Mirror Mirror and check out Fourskin but because Gurney was too boring we continued watching movie after eating at Kim Gary watched Wrath of the Titans. we had some trouble finding the right bus stop when we want to get back here but we found it anyways. wanted to get back before dark because i need to walk home but when we reach BW, it's already dark. rode the bus home alone and walked home from Kampung kastam. raining a little but the scarf kinda works as cover. had a nice day. well except for the part i had to come home to eat dinner. Labels: April 2012
Friday, April 6, 2012
yesterday i felt so close to death. really. my head was heavy after i woke up from my nap i don't know why. i kept having those thoughts but when i get to my bed at midnight, it got worse. i practically felt like killing myself that night then and there thinking about death imagining death worshiping death... i was tired but i couldn't sleep... i kept imagining myself slitting my wrist or even swallowing those panadols and i kept hoping that i will not wake up to see the sun anymore with my head condition like that i definitely hope it was true. i imagined how the people around will be after my death and i swear, if i really got up from my bed that night, i'll really head toward the knife and slit my wrist then and there because it felt like it was the right night to do it really it just felt right so damn right never felt like that before really felt like death was all over me i closed my eyes and tried to sleep but still the death thoughts haunt me and i suddenly felt the urge to cry no i wasn't sad i was practically feeling normal but just suddenly, randomly felt like crying idk that night felt scary really scary Labels: April 2012
Big Bang Alive I’m still alive I’m still alive I’m still alive It may seem like I'm dying but I won't die I won't avoid the eyes of others and hide I may be obviously falling till the end but I'm alive But I have nothing more to lose so I put the past behind me and jump out My deeply falling self is so beautiful right now I throw myself to the sky and I am free At this moment, I am alive, I'm still alive I’m still alive I’m still alive I’m still alive I’m livin’ that I’m livin’ that good life I’m still alive I’m still alive I’m still alive We livin’ that we livin’ that’ good life Labels: April 2012
Thursday, April 5, 2012
just when i was crying over some shitty thing yesterday today i had so much fun. went to sunway with mk, syaza and adiilah. for what? FOR KARAOKE!!!! LOL we went to eat first, at first we walked to Burger King, but the food don't look too good, so we walked out like a boss and entered the restaurant next to it, Kim's Tavern. lol. like a boss, yeah. we had so much fun while eating (that's because of me talking nonsense, as usual) then we separate, my and syaza went to the parking to keep her tomyam fried rice in car XD then she went to change parking place and we had trouble there. i was dumbfounded too at first but then i instructed her to park properly well the scratches on the side of her car... sorry for that .____. then we proceed to meet them at the karaoke place and got in and sang all the kpop songs they had screaming my lungs out hell yeah. it was addictive :3 we had to read the hangul but it's ok it's better than nothing. when three hours ended, we got out and spazz over the kpop goodies the bookstore outside sells and bought some stuff :3 then came home~ it was so much fun. love it. Labels: April 2012
Monday, April 2, 2012
i had so much fun watching Infinite's Second Invasion Evolution yesterday night :3 even though the headache was there but it was worth it :3 Labels: April 2012
well i was too lazy to post about what happened last awesome saturday but i was telling my friend that so i'll just post the conversation here Spirit Ooi yea...yea.lol oh, wat did u guys do tat day? 46 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker ohh it was so awesome i had so much fun with them cause they laugh at practically everything i say HAHA 45 minutes agoSpirit Ooi lol.. 45 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker well 45 minutes agoSpirit Ooi xD 45 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker syaza drove me around in her car XD syaza said 8.30 but she 8.30 baru bangun so, i waited until 9++ we all promised to meet at jetty at 10 but since syaza need to fetch julia and fara shahira some more so she said 8.30 then we go bagan pick julia, then go permatang pauh pick fara shahira then back to syaza's house we plan to sit bus go jetty at first but sudah late so she asked her dad to send us there so we reached but adiilah still havent appear shahera was there so we waited for adiilah and got into ferry (lmao so detailed) 43 minutes agoSpirit Ooi lol.. its ok i like detail xD 43 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker ily then the ferry's toilet was like shit man .___. nak kencing pun tak aman 42 minutes agoSpirit Ooi it normal to b like shit 42 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker lol then we reach penang go to the magazine store XD see epop the cover is BAP poster is se7en and dream high 2 but lyrics is warrior, blue and touch 41 minutes agoSpirit Ooi lol.. u even told me the contents xD 41 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150726171540101&set=a.361250580100.158175.591575100&type=1&theater did you see this? just telling you so you wouldnt buy XD 40 minutes agoSpirit Ooi lol.. thanks xD 40 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker i was looking through the lyrics section and squealed when i saw WARRIOR there LOL 39 minutes agoSpirit Ooi lol.. omg! its ur freaking name! 39 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker i requested for nanrina and warrior kekeke 39 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker costed me 50 cents for that LOL 39 minutes agoSpirit Ooi lol.it was worth it! 39 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker i guess they just telan my nanrina but at least they post warrior weeee 38 minutes agoSpirit Ooi xDDD i feel so happy now! 38 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker LOL so feel happy for awhile while i go wash my plate continue later brb 38 minutes agoSpirit Ooi k.... 36 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker back ok so our first destination was komtar we walked prangin, then randomly strolled over to 1st avenue we were hungry so we went to walk around the food court but me and syaza didnt want to eat there, only julia did, and others cincai, so we went kenny rogers ordered a family meal, one whole chicken, 4 muffins and 4 side dishes ingat boleh habis, 6 people, mana tau we eat until like crazy cause julia refused to eat (merajuk) fara shahira eat only one tiny bit 34 minutes agoSpirit Ooi lol... so like her xD 34 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker syaza felt like vomitting so, only me, adiilah and shahera were eating i eat paling susah cause i sacrificed to eat chicken breast @___@ 33 minutes agoSpirit Ooi lol...kesian then?\ 33 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker ok so i ngeh-ngeh habiskan the chicken then we walk go out, go bus stop, wait bus no destination its either penang hill or queensbay when the qb bus came, we went, but super lots of people so, suak, we wait penang hill bus wait and wait then came PEOPLE WERE SWARMING IN NOT TO MENTION THERE WERE ALREADY PEOPLE INSIDE THE BUS even more people than the qb bus .___. so nvm, we ngeh-ngeh jolok i found a spot in front of a guy malay guy uncle* 30 minutes agoSpirit Ooi yea... then? 30 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker i was beside the window but already got a few malay aunties pressed to the window so i got no place to sandar well nvm i was facing the guy at first his breath smelled like wtf so i rotated. i faced the windoe (and the aunties) and after a while i keep feeling like something's pressing on my ass ==" 28 minutes agoSpirit Ooi molester!!!!!!!!!!! 28 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker idk if it's sengaja or what i really couldnt tell 28 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker cause it was just lightly but the thing is 28 minutes agoSpirit Ooi ur butt too seductive, guys cannot control 28 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker everytime i moved in front a bit, i can still feel that something on my ass stfu, it's really jijik tau tak XD even tho idk if its on purpose or what la but very uncomfortable but after a while thank god the window aunties went down i faster go grab the rail beside the window and press my ass onto the bus wall ==" 27 minutes agoSpirit Ooi xDDDD 27 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker ugh 26 minutes agoSpirit Ooi mayb it was ppl's bag or something 26 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker yeah it can be anything still, it's very uncomfortable 26 minutes agoSpirit Ooi then? 26 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker cause it's right onto my ass .___. then when more people get off (including the uncle) syaza came to stand beside me i told her that and she said in KL LRT got indo guy rubbed on malay girl until he came and he smiled @___________@ 25 minutes agoSpirit Ooi wtf 24 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker she said even got people took video/pictures of it wtf right? ewww 24 minutes agoSpirit Ooi ewwwwww........ i would fucking punch that guy 24 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker lolol ok then we finally get place to sit when near penang hill you remember the place with graves? beside apartments 23 minutes agoSpirit Ooi yea. 23 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker until there, it was raining super heavily but thank god when reach, it wasnt raining so we bought tickets and went into the train 22 minutes agoSpirit Ooi nice 22 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker we reach there and walk, and go food court first cause julia was hungry we all watch her eat XD 21 minutes agoSpirit Ooi lolol... just now dont wan eat now baru wan eat xD 21 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker yea loh 21 minutes agoSpirit Ooi memang bermasalah 21 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker but she sanggup cause she was aiming for koey teow i dont like orang yang pilih makan .___. feel like punching them 21 minutes agoSpirit Ooi lol. xD i knw rite 20 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker it's not even inedible ada apa, makanlah 20 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker ==" high five 20 minutes agoSpirit Ooi so annoying i mean, just freaking eat that damn food lol 20 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker then we walk up 20 minutes agoSpirit Ooi i sat time also go alor star my cousin seriously annoying 20 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker ice cream ada buka ;____; i was so happy then 19 minutes agoSpirit Ooi lol xD 19 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker what about ur cousin? i'll continue later 19 minutes agoSpirit Ooi no...no.. u finish youra yours* 19 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker LOL 19 minutes agoSpirit Ooi then i tell mine xD 19 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker ok well only me and adiilah ate ice cream bahagia ;____; why so damn sedap then we went down again syaza went to do the henna art remember when we went, the guy calling us saying he got promo for valentine';s day? 17 minutes agoSpirit Ooi yea...yea lol 17 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker the one doing tattoo with inai syaza go and do i asked if they want to take picture with snake XD syaza hates snakes so we went up the restaurant there the taman there took pictures shahera likes taking pics, only now i know walk walk walk and come down again then balik sit bus till jetty balik to butterworth adiilah's dad fetch us to syaza's house then syaza drove me, julia and fara shahira to sunway she wanted to buy earphones 15 minutes agoSpirit Ooi then? u huys jln-jln there ? 15 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150726144675101&set=a.361250580100.158175.591575100&type=1&theater not really just buy earphones, julia and fara shahira buy waffle then go popular sekejap then come down, see the car fair and sign on the earth hour board 13 minutes agoSpirit Ooi lol 13 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker then we balik liao 13 minutes agoSpirit Ooi oh.... finish? 13 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker well 13 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker syaza fetch fara shahira go back first, so i tunjuk jalan i told them i'm the best human gps ever XDDD but it's easy to tunjuk jalan cause from sunway, use laluan A, then laluan C sampai. XD then fetch julia home, and i go home too 11 minutes agoSpirit Ooi hahaha xD 11 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker that day, i wore lens for 13 hours damn i got masuk syaza's house 11 minutes agoSpirit Ooi ur eyes must hv become so red 11 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker saw pn jamaliah watching kbs not that red just sometimes pain pn jamaliah was sitiing on the sofa doing something with her laptop and watching immortal songs XDDD she was so cute lol she said she saw me first and that i looked very different XD 10 minutes agoSpirit Ooi every teacher says bout that 9 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker i bet everyone that hadn't seen me since i left school will say that kekeke 9 minutes agoSpirit Ooi lol u become more pretty liao ma 9 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker fake* XD well i reach home around 9 parents not at home so i on all lampu, go mandi then open comp and teringat EARTH HOUR 7 minutes agoSpirit Ooi so u close the electrics? 7 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker lol i close all except comp kan dah buka XD the house was pitch-black except comp XD 7 minutes agoSpirit Ooi lol... xD 6 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker close until 9.30 then buka balik ok the end 6 minutes agoSpirit Ooi budak baik 6 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker tell me ur story now 6 minutes agoSpirit Ooi except for the com xD 5 minutes agoSamantha Jaywalker lecehla off comp... have to wait super long time to on back.. not worth it XD the end. Labels: April 2012
i had so much fun today, yeah? being with my old friends, malay friends, whom i once loved so much during some year of my secondary school, i met them again and had so much fun with them. i'm definitely gonna miss this day. well i was supposed to post a very detailed post about today but some shit just ruined my fucken mood and i dont think i can do this. i'll just stop here. Labels: March 2012
Saturday, March 24, 2012
headache. how can i realize all the problems only after i've reached home? stupid mee. fuck it because of the fucking C in add math i can't continue to pharmacy i'll need to start all over again. fuck it fuck it~!!!!!!!!!!!!! for now planning to do physiotherapy. need to start searching again. fuck. Labels: March 2012
i was nervous on the edu fair i slept at 6am. Not only that, i was having fun with this 1-day-pass-for-rm2 for internet. Which means fanfic marathon XD BUt the last fic i read was depressing. Love the r-rated parts though. It was written beautifully. Enough on that. The edu fair today, i guess im just going to surya. But sleeping that late was fun. I had only slept for 4 hours but it felt good. Once in a while. If always, then not good anymore. Going facial with sis tomorrow. Gonna have a good, relaxing time. Wish we get to hike at youth park too. Ate lots of chocolate today. Fats. Labels: March 2012
forgot to post a few days ago i dreamed of telling Hoya and Sunggyu that they're handsome and hugging Woohyun and telling that he's soft and Myungsoo sleeping beside me under water.... lmao forget that details. let's keep it at that. lol. Labels: March 2012
i dont know whats wrong with me. I was the one who warned people around not to trust her, that she's a bitch that sells secrets, but what am i doing here? I guess it's because she told me i'll be the only schoolmate in her new account, that i soften up and started telling her stories. But baby, let's think about it this way. You've got nothing to lose now, you dont have to see them bitches from school anymore. So what if she tells people? I have my own circle of friends now, and getting a new one soon and my current circle of friends are people that i can trust fully, they will not betray me. But think about it, this something i told her is something my friends dont know. Something sensitive. She's the only one that has known me that long to know about it. It feels good to be able to tell someone about it after keeping to myself for months months of torture of not being able to tell anyone of being kept in the dark about her current life of being curious how many nights have i tortured myself thinking about her but no, that's not the point right now. She made it sound as if she's faithful in keeping my secrets, but no, i know her better than she think she knows. She loves being in the center of attention there's no way she can let something as juicy as this go unmentioned. Protecting me? I think she provides the most info about that. Damn, im so messed up. Labels: March 2012
Friday, March 23, 2012
aish~~ jinjja sihreo nan molla jinjja... neomu himdeureoyo hm... Labels: March 2012
do not like being rejected. do not like missing something fun either. do not like doing something that is ain't no fun. do not like, do not like, do not like. Labels: March 2012
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
why are people congratulating me? my result is not even good. those must be fake congratulations. they just say it for the sake of saying it. anyway the students of the school look like they've never seen sucha hot shit like me. lol. just kidding. i must be attractive to be getting all that attention from those students but idk in a good or bad way. my friends and teachers have been saying that i've grown pretty and looking different but meh if i remove those lens and makeup and pin up those hair i bet i'll look the same again. lol. it's not like i had plastic surgery or something. Pn Hasanah, Pn Norrizah and the new counselling teacher asked me if i'm interested in becoming air stewardess. am i even qualified. had a nice long chat with Pn Hasanah at the teacher's cafeteria just now. she's still so nice, love her. can't believe she's the one that asked for my number first. haha. i'll really miss her, why is she being so nice to me. i wonder if i call her and say my name a few months later will she remember me? i really hope so... anyway, chilling out with #nowplaying Fantastic Baby by Big bang Labels: March 2012
it's certain i will not cry. but let's just hope my day will be a good one, nae? hope so. Labels: March 2012
tomorrow is the day. my holiday officially ended... or not yet? i wish i have a few more weeks... this is sad. what have i been doing in these past 3 months? hmm... nothing. but well, it feels good. and addictive i can't get enough of it. doing nothing is nice. the best. this kind of life is what i like. guess i can't live long, huh? i can't endure hardships. hmm... Labels: March 2012
Thursday, March 15, 2012
going KL on Sunday. kinda excited for it. wonder what kind of trip it will be this time? i wanna go shopping. no money but there's sis. lol. ain't bringing clothes, sis giving me/buying there. awesome. but after the trip ends, that's where the real trouble comes in. the day after that, is the day for result. damn. i gotta start applying for college and all that shit already. can't believe my 3 months of holiday ended. hmm... Labels: March 2012
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
what's up. recently i've been watching this drama titled What's Up starring Daesung, Im Juhwan and etc. it's a good drama. i especially love Daesung's character with his alter-ego Hades and all that's really cool. currently i'm at episode 9. wish they reveal more on Hades/Dosung though. i feel bad that Jang Heejin gets all the bitch characters. lol. this drama makes me love Daesung even more. now, it's official, Daesung's my bias in Big Bang :3 Labels: March 2012
Big Bang Daesung - Wings Today oneul gateun nare geunyeoga malhane Heeojijago mianhadago hapil ginyeomire Today manheun saramdeul soge umcheureodeulgon hae Nan gogaereul tteolgun chae pihae (ireon naega sirheo) Oneureun okay deo keuge sorichyeo ye joheun iri saenggilgeoyaaa Gwaenchanha oneul bam maneun ireoke areumdaunde deo keuge ureodo dwae ye Naega neol anajulgeoyaaa jigeum i sungan naraolla ttwieoboneungeoya Woo hoo woo- wadadadadada uh uh uh yayayayayaya baro jigeum Today neomu oeroul ttae michil deut seulpeunde Hajiman amudo arajuji anheul ttaen eotteokhae Today wae naman ireoke himdeulkka saenggakhae Moduga haengbokhadan mal da geojitmal an mideo say 1,2 Oneureun okay deo keuge sorichyeo ye joheun iri saenggilgeoyaaa Gwaenchanha oneul bam maneun ireoke areumdaunde deo keuge ureodo dwae ye Naega neol anajulgeoyaaa jigeum i sungan naraolla ttwieoboneun geoya I sesang sogeseo seulpeun juingongi doeeo neo daesin apahaejulge nalgaega dwaejulge Nan geudaereul mideo nan geudaereul mideo nal geudaero mideo nal geudaero mideo I modeun geot ttohan da jinagal teni Oneureun okay deo keuge sorichyeo ye joheun iri saenggilgeoyaaa Gwaenchanha oneul bam maneun ireoke areumdaunde deo keuge ureodo dwae ye Naega neol anajulgeoyaaa jigeum i sungan naraolla ttwieoboneun geoya Woo hoo woo- wadadadadada uh uh uh yayayayayaya Labels: March 2012
Big Bang Daesung - Wings Today, on a day like this, she says We should break up and she’s sorry – on our anniversary Today, I am squeezed between many people As I hang my head low, I try to avoid them (I hate myself for being this way) Today, it’s okay, shout out louder yeah – good things will happen It’s alright for tonight since it’s so beautiful so cry louder yeah I will hug you, at this moment just fly high and jump Woo hoo woo – right now Today, when it gets really lonely, I get crazily sad But no one understands, what to do? Today, I think, why am I the only one who’s suffering like this? Saying that everyone is happy are all lies – I won’t believe it – say 1, 2 Today, it’s okay, shout out louder yeah – good things will happen It’s alright for tonight since it’s so beautiful so cry louder yeah I will hug you, at this moment just fly high and jump I will become a sad protagonist in this world And I will hurt in place of you, I’ll become your wings I believe you, I believe you Believe in me, believe in me Because everything will pass Today, it’s okay, shout out louder yeah – good things will happen It’s alright for tonight since it’s so beautiful so cry louder yeah I will hug you, at this moment just fly high and jump Labels: March 2012
Monday, March 5, 2012
i can't wait to go KL!! i want to wear prettily, shop/window-shop eat out sleep in air cond room savour every moment there yes. Labels: March 2012
[G-Dragon] geunal bameun naega neomu sibhaesseo, niga jinjjaro tteonagal juleun mollasseo “naega mianhae” i mal hanmadi eoryeowoseo, urin kkeutkka ji ga na seonggyaki deoreowoso maldo an dwineun illo datugireul haruyedo susip beon neon ulmyeonseo ttwichyeonaga nan juwireul duriban dasi dol-a-o-getji naeilimyeon bunmyeong meonjeo yeonraki ogetji ichimimyeon [Daesung] Baby nan mothae neomuna mot dwaeseo deo jalhae jugosipeunde jal andwae Everyday and night I’m so mean cuz I’m so real I’m sorry (but I can’t change) [G-Dragon] niga saranghaneun naneun sorry I’m a bad boy geurae charari tteona jal gayo you’re a good girl sigani galsurok nal almyeoneun alsugok silmangman namatgetjiman [Taeyang] Baby don’t leave me I know you still love me wae geurae soljikhi na malhae niga pilyo hae my lay lay lay lay lady my lay lay lay lay lady [TOP] botongnamjawa dalla neomu himdeuldago neon ajikdo sonyeogatti neomu yeoryeo maeilgatti uteojuneun ne gyeoten naega neomu eoyeo bappeudaneun pinggyero yaksokeul mirwobeoryeo mianhan na soksanghan maeume gogaereul dollyeobeoryeo nae kkumsokui sinbu ije geunyeong chingu heeojimi aswiun urideului chimmuk [Seungri] Baby nan mothae neomuna mot dwaeseo deo julhae jugosipeunde geuge andwae Everyday and night I’m so mean cuz I’m so real so I’m sorry (but I can’t change) [TOP] niga saranghaneun naneun sorry I’m a bad boy geurae charari tteona jal gayo you’re a good girl sigani galsurok nal almyeoneun alsugok silmangman namatgetjiman [Taeyang] Baby don’t leave me I know you still love me wae geurae soljikhi na malhae niga pilyo hae my lay lay lay lay lady my lay lay lay lay lady [Seungri] amu mal hajima [Daesung] kwaenhi ganghancheok haetjiman sokeun dalla [Seungri] nal beorijima [Daesung] naegeneun neomankeum nal ihaehaejul sarameun [Taeyang] eobtdan geol neon algo itjanhayo baby, oh geudae come back to me ye ye ye [G-Dragon] niga saranghaneun naneun sorry I’m a bad boy geurae charari tteona jal gayo you’re a good girl sigani galsurok nal almyeoneun alsugok silmangman namatgetjiman [Taeyang] Baby don’t leave me I know you still love me wae geurae soljikhi na malhae niga pilyo hae my lay lay lay lay lady my lay lay lay lay lady [G-Dragon and TOP] niga saranghaneun naneun sorry I’m a bad boy sorry I’m a bad boy sorry I’m a bad boy geurae chirari tteona jal gayo you’re a good girl you’re a good girl you’re a good girl niga saranghaneun naneun sorry I’m a bad boy sorry I’m a bad boy sorry I’m a bad boy geurae chirari tteona jal gayo you’re a good girl you’re a good girl you’re a good girl More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/b/bigbang/#share Labels: March 2012
I was too harsh that night I didn't know you would really leave The words, "I'm sorry", is too difficult for us that we take it to the end Because I'm ill-tempered We fight over stupid things numerous times a day You take off crying, I look around and think, 'She'll come back tomorrow. She'll definitely call me first in the morning' *Baby, I can't, I'm so bad that I want to be good to you but it's hard Every day and night I'm so mean cuz I'm so real so I'm sorry (but I can't change) **I'm the one you love but sorry I'm a bad boy Yes, just leave me, good bye, you're a good girl The more time passes, the more you get to know me, only disappointments will remain but Baby don't leave me, I know you still love me Why, yes, I'll tell you the truth, I need you My lay lay lay lay lady My lay lay lay lay lady You say that I'm different than other guys so it's hard You're still like a young girl with a soft heart For you, who is always smiling next to me, I'm still too young With the excuse that I'm busy, I postpone our date Because I'm sorry, because I'm frustrated, I turn my head The bride in my dreams is just a friend now Upset over the breakup, we are silent *Repeat **Repeat Don't say a thing I act tough but I'm not inside Don't abandon me You know that there's no one who will understand me like you, baby Oh you, come back to me ye ye ye **Repeat I'm the one you love but sorry I'm a bad boy Sorry I'm a bad boy, Sorry I'm a bad boy Yes, just leave me, good bye, you're a good girl You're a good girl, you're a good girl (X2) Labels: March 2012
Sunday, March 4, 2012
okay so just now i went to Prangin Mall and 1st Avenue with MK. it was our second outing after the one on Valentine's Day. it was so much fun except for the fact that i didn't buy the shoes i wanted and we were there for it in the first place. but after browsing for some time, i thought that i didn't like it. too bad. i bought two tops though. and 3 pairs of earrings. spent more money on Strawberry Marshmallow Cheesecake Strawberry waffle and Old Town's Coffee and Fries. it felt good. in Prangin, somewhere without people, we saw a boy playing by himself. i threatened to kidnap him and his face was like priceless LOL. idk where that randomness came from, it just came XD anyway comp freezing so often. cant post much. that's all for now. OMGGG I CANNOT FORGET TO MENTION THIS I SAW A HOT GUY HE'S SO DAMN CUTE MAN!! WHILE WAITING FOR THE FERRY TO BUTTERWORTH he looks just like Sungyeol!!1 except he's got bigger eyes, and he's much cuter!!! damn, he's seriously damn cute!! with those huge eyes and spikey hair... and in working shirt... damn. he caught me staring at him lol. a few seconds of eye contact, and i felt bad for stalking him lol ugh he's so cute. one in a million :3 Labels: March 2012
Friday, March 2, 2012
i'm so looking forward to the outing on Sunday ♥ i'm finally getting the shoes i've been drooling over!! rm69... meh... i'm a very poor bitch but somehow i can't help buying expensive stuffs. i don't appreciate money, i spend them as i wish. and then i whine about having no money. hmm... why won't i grow up. Labels: March 2012
why does the view counter increase by 10 everytime i visit my blog after a while? something's suspicious... it's so constant o_o Labels: March 2012
Hell yeah it's victory baby i won that war it feels better than ever. after suffering for idk how long since december it felt so depressing everytime i remember that i have to visit that place plus with the stupid-ass driver that's always late and asking me to club and driving like a mad bitch and sometimes not coming at all it was so depressing and full of worries and waking up early thinking of those stupid practices i felt like bullshit. worried about getting scolded, being humiliated in front of others, it felt so bad. worried of not knowing what to do, it sucks to the max. anyway, it's all over now. i'm going to be able to drive on roads officially :3 seriously, it felt so good. it FEELS so good. #nowplaying: SPEED by T-ara - Lovey Dovey Plus Labels: March 2012
Monday, February 27, 2012
sometimes i wonder what will i do, how will i react if i see her on the streets like You Look Good by Verbal Jint how will she look like how will she react what will she do but this world is not that small, right? i do not know and i'm pretty sure that this will not happen, but i can only hope for it to happen. it might disturb me to the point where i cry in the middle of the night or start my old habit again but i don't care, i just want to know how she's doing what she's up to how pretty she is... i know if it happens somehow, it will hurt me a lot no i do not know how she will feel probably think "sucks to meet her here, spoils my day" but i'd like so much for it to happen the pain feels good sometimes. i'm a masochist and i know it. Labels: February 2012
i was watching this movie with my sis on her laptop the girl with the dragon tattoo and the female lead somehow reminds me so much of her. that body shape, attitude, the thing she's good at personality sexuality except she's not as extreme as the female character. but i bet she is a different person now? this is why i do not dare to approach her i dare not imagine what i'll feel if i got rejected or even having accepted her in my life again i might not be able to get used to it and lost interest again i just....... Labels: February 2012
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rgyBy-mpUI&feature=related You Look Good by Verbal Jint is my current obsession. i liked the song because it reminds me of someone it's almost like the situation i'm in except that i did not meet that person in some streets or anywhere. it's a surprise to find out that Infinite H performed this in their concert ;____; it's beautiful.. i wish there's a full and clear cam/video of this ;____; of all rap songs out there they had to choose this. why?! yadong is perfect ♥ Labels: February 2012
Monday, February 13, 2012
best valentine's gift ever... thanks woollim ent *___* i thought i'd have to wait for fansubs for that but there's eng subs!!! omg... seriously.. the best gift ever :> Labels: February 2012
|
|
Original layout by: turtlelyn, Graphics/Inspiration: アリス九號. |