♠the 愛♥ for Chocolate ;)♠

2012-03-07T23:50:00.005+08:00

what's up.

recently i've been watching this drama titled What's Up

starring Daesung, Im Juhwan and etc.

it's a good drama.

i especially love Daesung's character

with his alter-ego Hades and all

that's really cool.

currently i'm at episode 9.

wish they reveal more on Hades/Dosung though.

i feel bad that Jang Heejin gets all the bitch characters.

lol.

this drama makes me love Daesung even more.

now,

it's official,

Daesung's my bias in Big Bang :3

2012-03-07T23:49:00.002+08:00

Big Bang Daesung - Wings

Today oneul gateun nare geunyeoga malhane
Heeojijago mianhadago hapil ginyeomire
Today manheun saramdeul soge umcheureodeulgon hae
Nan gogaereul tteolgun chae pihae (ireon naega sirheo)

Oneureun okay deo keuge sorichyeo ye joheun iri saenggilgeoyaaa
Gwaenchanha oneul bam maneun ireoke areumdaunde deo keuge ureodo dwae ye
Naega neol anajulgeoyaaa jigeum i sungan naraolla ttwieoboneungeoya
Woo hoo woo- wadadadadada uh uh uh yayayayayaya baro jigeum

Today neomu oeroul ttae michil deut seulpeunde
Hajiman amudo arajuji anheul ttaen eotteokhae
Today wae naman ireoke himdeulkka saenggakhae
Moduga haengbokhadan mal da geojitmal an mideo say 1,2

Oneureun okay deo keuge sorichyeo ye joheun iri saenggilgeoyaaa
Gwaenchanha oneul bam maneun ireoke areumdaunde deo keuge ureodo dwae ye
Naega neol anajulgeoyaaa jigeum i sungan naraolla ttwieoboneun geoya

I sesang sogeseo seulpeun juingongi doeeo neo daesin apahaejulge nalgaega dwaejulge
Nan geudaereul mideo nan geudaereul mideo nal geudaero mideo nal geudaero mideo
I modeun geot ttohan da jinagal teni

Oneureun okay deo keuge sorichyeo ye joheun iri saenggilgeoyaaa
Gwaenchanha oneul bam maneun ireoke areumdaunde deo keuge ureodo dwae ye
Naega neol anajulgeoyaaa jigeum i sungan naraolla ttwieoboneun geoya
Woo hoo woo- wadadadadada uh uh uh yayayayayaya

2012-03-07T23:49:00.001+08:00

Big Bang Daesung - Wings

Today, on a day like this, she says
We should break up and she’s sorry – on our anniversary
Today, I am squeezed between many people
As I hang my head low, I try to avoid them (I hate myself for being this way)

Today, it’s okay, shout out louder yeah – good things will happen
It’s alright for tonight since it’s so beautiful so cry louder yeah
I will hug you, at this moment just fly high and jump
Woo hoo woo – right now

Today, when it gets really lonely, I get crazily sad
But no one understands, what to do?
Today, I think, why am I the only one who’s suffering like this?
Saying that everyone is happy are all lies – I won’t believe it – say 1, 2

Today, it’s okay, shout out louder yeah – good things will happen
It’s alright for tonight since it’s so beautiful so cry louder yeah
I will hug you, at this moment just fly high and jump

I will become a sad protagonist in this world
And I will hurt in place of you, I’ll become your wings
I believe you, I believe you
Believe in me, believe in me
Because everything will pass

Today, it’s okay, shout out louder yeah – good things will happen
It’s alright for tonight since it’s so beautiful so cry louder yeah
I will hug you, at this moment just fly high and jump

2012-03-05T21:35:00.001+08:00

i can't wait to go KL!!

i want to wear prettily,

shop/window-shop

eat out

sleep in air cond room

savour every moment there

yes.

BAD BOY

2012-03-05T21:34:00.002+08:00

[G-Dragon]
geunal bameun naega neomu sibhaesseo, niga jinjjaro tteonagal juleun
mollasseo
“naega mianhae” i mal hanmadi eoryeowoseo, urin kkeutkka ji ga na
seonggyaki deoreowoso
maldo an dwineun illo datugireul haruyedo susip beon
neon ulmyeonseo ttwichyeonaga nan juwireul duriban
dasi dol-a-o-getji naeilimyeon bunmyeong meonjeo yeonraki ogetji
ichimimyeon

[Daesung]
Baby nan mothae neomuna mot dwaeseo deo jalhae jugosipeunde jal andwae
Everyday and night I’m so mean cuz I’m so real I’m sorry (but I can’t
change)

[G-Dragon]
niga saranghaneun naneun sorry I’m a bad boy
geurae charari tteona jal gayo you’re a good girl
sigani galsurok nal almyeoneun alsugok silmangman namatgetjiman

[Taeyang]
Baby don’t leave me I know you still love me
wae geurae soljikhi na malhae niga pilyo hae my lay lay lay lay lady my lay
lay lay lay lady

[TOP]
botongnamjawa dalla neomu himdeuldago
neon ajikdo sonyeogatti neomu yeoryeo maeilgatti uteojuneun ne gyeoten
naega neomu eoyeo
bappeudaneun pinggyero yaksokeul mirwobeoryeo mianhan na soksanghan maeume
gogaereul dollyeobeoryeo
nae kkumsokui sinbu ije geunyeong chingu heeojimi aswiun urideului chimmuk

[Seungri]
Baby nan mothae neomuna mot dwaeseo deo julhae jugosipeunde geuge andwae
Everyday and night I’m so mean cuz I’m so real so I’m sorry (but I can’t
change)

[TOP]
niga saranghaneun naneun sorry I’m a bad boy
geurae charari tteona jal gayo you’re a good girl
sigani galsurok nal almyeoneun alsugok silmangman namatgetjiman

[Taeyang]
Baby don’t leave me I know you still love me
wae geurae soljikhi na malhae niga pilyo hae my lay lay lay lay lady my lay
lay lay lay lady

[Seungri] amu mal hajima
[Daesung] kwaenhi ganghancheok haetjiman sokeun dalla
[Seungri] nal beorijima
[Daesung] naegeneun neomankeum nal ihaehaejul sarameun
[Taeyang] eobtdan geol neon algo itjanhayo baby, oh geudae come back to me
ye ye ye

[G-Dragon]
niga saranghaneun naneun sorry I’m a bad boy
geurae charari tteona jal gayo you’re a good girl
sigani galsurok nal almyeoneun alsugok silmangman namatgetjiman

[Taeyang]
Baby don’t leave me I know you still love me
wae geurae soljikhi na malhae niga pilyo hae my lay lay lay lay lady my lay
lay lay lay lady

[G-Dragon and TOP]
niga saranghaneun naneun sorry I’m a bad boy sorry I’m a bad boy sorry I’m
a bad boy
geurae chirari tteona jal gayo you’re a good girl you’re a good girl you’re
a good girl
niga saranghaneun naneun sorry I’m a bad boy sorry I’m a bad boy sorry I’m
a bad boy
geurae chirari tteona jal gayo you’re a good girl you’re a good girl you’re
a good girl

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/b/bigbang/#share

2012-03-05T21:34:00.001+08:00

I was too harsh that night
I didn't know you would really leave
The words, "I'm sorry", is too difficult for us that we take it to the end
Because I'm ill-tempered
We fight over stupid things numerous times a day
You take off crying, I look around and think,
'She'll come back tomorrow. She'll definitely call me first in the morning'

*Baby, I can't, I'm so bad that I want to be good to you but it's hard
Every day and night I'm so mean cuz I'm so real so I'm sorry (but I can't change)

**I'm the one you love but sorry I'm a bad boy
Yes, just leave me, good bye, you're a good girl
The more time passes, the more you get to know me, only disappointments will remain but
Baby don't leave me, I know you still love me
Why, yes, I'll tell you the truth, I need you
My lay lay lay lay lady
My lay lay lay lay lady

You say that I'm different than other guys so it's hard
You're still like a young girl with a soft heart
For you, who is always smiling next to me, I'm still too young
With the excuse that I'm busy, I postpone our date
Because I'm sorry, because I'm frustrated, I turn my head
The bride in my dreams is just a friend now
Upset over the breakup, we are silent

*Repeat

**Repeat

Don't say a thing
I act tough but I'm not inside
Don't abandon me
You know that there's no one who will understand me like you, baby
Oh you, come back to me ye ye ye

**Repeat

I'm the one you love but sorry I'm a bad boy
Sorry I'm a bad boy, Sorry I'm a bad boy
Yes, just leave me, good bye, you're a good girl
You're a good girl, you're a good girl (X2)

March 4 post

2012-03-04T22:22:00.002+08:00

okay so just now i went to Prangin Mall and 1st Avenue with MK.

it was our second outing after the one on Valentine's Day.

it was so much fun

except for the fact that i didn't buy the shoes i wanted

and we were there for it in the first place.

but after browsing for some time,

i thought that i didn't like it.

too bad.

i bought two tops though.

and 3 pairs of earrings.

spent more money on Strawberry Marshmallow Cheesecake

Strawberry waffle and Old Town's Coffee and Fries.

it felt good.

in Prangin,

somewhere without people,

we saw a boy playing by himself.

i threatened to kidnap him

and his face was like priceless LOL.

idk where that randomness came from,

it just came XD

anyway comp freezing so often.

cant post much.

that's all for now.

OMGGG I CANNOT FORGET TO MENTION THIS

I SAW A HOT GUY

HE'S SO DAMN CUTE MAN!!

WHILE WAITING FOR THE FERRY TO BUTTERWORTH

he looks just like Sungyeol!!1

except he's got bigger eyes,

and he's much cuter!!!

damn,

he's seriously damn cute!!

with those huge eyes and spikey hair...

and in working shirt...

damn.

he caught me staring at him lol.

a few seconds of eye contact,

and i felt bad for stalking him lol

ugh he's so cute.

one in a million :3

2012-03-02T22:51:00.002+08:00

i'm so looking forward to the outing on Sunday ♥

i'm finally getting the shoes i've been drooling over!!

rm69...

meh...

i'm a very poor bitch

but somehow i can't help buying expensive stuffs.

i don't appreciate money,

i spend them as i wish.

and then i whine about having no money.

hmm... why won't i grow up.

2012-03-02T22:44:00.002+08:00

why does the view counter increase by 10 everytime i visit my blog after a while?

something's suspicious...

it's so constant o_o

2012-03-02T22:28:00.003+08:00

Hell yeah

it's victory baby

i won that war

it feels better than ever.

after suffering for idk how long

since december

it felt so depressing everytime i remember that i have to visit that place

plus with the stupid-ass driver that's always late

and asking me to club

and driving like a mad bitch

and sometimes not coming at all

it was so depressing and full of worries

and waking up early

thinking of those stupid practices

i felt like bullshit.

worried about getting scolded,

being humiliated in front of others,

it felt so bad.

worried of not knowing what to do,

it sucks to the max.

anyway, it's all over now.

i'm going to be able to drive on roads officially :3

seriously, it felt so good.

it FEELS so good.

#nowplaying: SPEED by T-ara - Lovey Dovey Plus

2012-02-27T00:05:00.003+08:00

sometimes i wonder what will i do,

how will i react

if i see her on the streets

like You Look Good by Verbal Jint

how will she look like

how will she react

what will she do

but this world is not that small, right?

i do not know

and i'm pretty sure that this will not happen,

but i can only hope for it to happen.

it might disturb me to the point where i cry in the middle of the night

or start my old habit again

but i don't care,

i just want to know how she's doing

what she's up to

how pretty she is...

i know if it happens somehow,

it will hurt me a lot

no i do not know how she will feel

probably think "sucks to meet her here, spoils my day"

but i'd like so much for it to happen

the pain feels good sometimes.

i'm a masochist and i know it.

2012-02-26T23:59:00.006+08:00

nae gaseumi apa

2012-02-26T23:59:00.005+08:00

i was watching this movie with my sis on her laptop

the girl with the dragon tattoo

and the female lead somehow reminds me so much of her.

that body shape,

attitude,

the thing she's good at

personality

sexuality

except she's not as extreme as the female character.

but i bet she is a different person now?

this is why i do not dare to approach her

i dare not imagine what i'll feel if i got rejected

or even having accepted her in my life again

i might not be able to get used to it

and lost interest again

i just.......

2012-02-15T15:37:00.002+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rgyBy-mpUI&feature=related

You Look Good by Verbal Jint

is my current obsession.

i liked the song because it reminds me of someone

it's almost like the situation i'm in

except that i did not meet that person in some streets or anywhere.

it's a surprise to find out that Infinite H performed this

in their concert ;____;

it's beautiful.. i wish there's a full and clear cam/video of this ;____;

of all rap songs out there

they had to choose this.

why?!

yadong is perfect ♥

2012-02-13T23:58:00.001+08:00

best valentine's gift ever...

thanks woollim ent *___*

i thought i'd have to wait for fansubs for that

but there's eng subs!!!

omg...

seriously.. the best gift ever :>

2012-02-13T22:50:00.002+08:00

Maze

Loving you is like being in a maze.

I get so lost in it,

Sometimes when i thought i'd found the way out,

I fell even deeper into the trap.

hmm... this one tak boleh pakai la. -.-""

2012-02-12T21:33:00.002+08:00

i'm so excited for 14th!

no i do not have a date,

just some outing with a friend ♥

it's gonna be fun!

the train ride i love so much XD

it's gonna be sunny in Penang Hill but

please don't rain.

should i bring my backpack?

hope everything goes well.

at the night of 13th,

11pm

they're going to release Infinite's Valentine's Day present

so anticipating it!!

^_^

so happy~

please eng sub it.

2012-02-12T20:57:00.002+08:00

feel like posting something pretty :3

2012-02-10T23:12:00.003+08:00

babe

you need to realize you can't love everyone

or help everyone.

strangers,

if you see that they need help

or need love

don't even bother about them

you'll only end up bringing more problems to yourself.

you're not committed,

and you know that,

so stop trying to be a good bitch

and love everyone.

you can't do it,

you're too lazy.

you feel like it,

but it never lasts long.

don't be too good to strangers,

they will not even end up as your friend

a few moments later.

save your time and sorry for other people that are more important.

anyway,

good luck for tomorrow.

love yourself.

do your best,

you are the best.

love you.

2012-02-10T16:46:00.002+08:00

keep that in mind,

have that "so what" attitude.

you're now an adult,

you need to change.

you can't be shy about even the smallest things

it's hard to live.

remember,

the keyword is

"SO WHAT"

don't you ever forget that.

now,

good luck.

you're going to do your best tomorrow,

you're the best.

"Naega jaeil jalnaga"

remember?

that's your favourite phrase too.

now be good and be confident.

you're good, okay?

:)

2012-02-10T16:36:00.002+08:00

bitch, why are you thinking so much.

you know what it takes to be confident,

you've read that book.

you've finished it.

now do it.

be confident.

be yourself.

don't worry about what others think,

they have no rights to complain about you.

let them think what they want,

and you do what you want.

you are special.

you are unbreakable.

you are yourself.

you do not care what they say.

you think only about yourself.

don't bother about others.

you are going to do your best.

yes,

tell yourself,

"i'm unbreakable"

you're confident.

you're good.

appreciate that.

do not worry about doing the wrong thing,

people make mistakes :)

it's normal.

do not worry about being reprimanded,

it's normal.

they're just trying to tell you what's wrong

so you can do the right thing.

be positive.

learn from mistakes.

don't be afraid of making mistakes,

it's what makes us human.

mistakes.

learn.

don't be so immersed in self-loathing every time you're reprimanded

think about where you went wrong,

and try your best to not do it again.

don't bother feeling embarrassed,

you have no time for it.

you need to improve.

#don'tstopcan'tstop

2012-02-06T22:38:00.001+08:00

i just added a hit counter at the side <<<<

not that i want my blog to be seen or read

i just want to know if there are visitors

i'm still paranoid, ya know.

2012-02-06T22:27:00.000+08:00

I know it ain't easy for the two of us
That's right man but you know what? What's up?
Sometimes I just don't care what people say, man
Things are goin' crazy all the time, you know?
I got no choice, let me just do this for love

* Without anyone knowing, I love you
Without anyone knowing, I think of you
It's a love that only you and I know in this world
All day, I remember you
All day, I love you
Even if I'm in jail, it's okay - if only I have you, I can live

In case anyone recognizes us, we can't walk comfortably in the streets of Kangnam
Only the neon signs and streetlights in the dark night
Are blessing our relationship, making my heart ache
In front of many people, I can't express my greetings or a single word to you, making me anxious
We're trapped in a box called reason, rather than a box called emotion

This feeling like I'm walking on ice
This feeling like I'm flying in the sky
My hot heart is pounding rub dub rub dub love

You are hotter than the sun,
I am colder than ice
You and I, we can't speak of this love

* repeat

You Don’t Know Me. Never Ever Ever Know.
You Don’t Know Me. Never Ever Ever

It's hard to talk on the phone with you so every day
We secretly talk through texting as I cautiously look around me
Instead of saying I love you, saying I miss you
Is more familiar in our conversation so my heart aches
Every day, I am love sick over you
Everywhere I look, I see you - so do you know how much more I miss you?
Even if you're next to me, because of your pushed down hat
I can't even look at your eyes - who will know this feeling?

This feeling like I'm walking on ice
This feeling like I'm flying in the sky
Whether this is electrifying or just pathetic
I can't tell which one is right

You are hotter than the sun,
I am colder than ice
Again today, with a message that only you would know
I tweet about my current status with a nervous feeling

* repeat

Wherever we go, we always sit in the farthest corner
Whatever we do, we can't even take a single picture
What's so important about that? I'm next to you
Whatever we do, our time together is more precious
Even if we lock eyes for a moment, we get surprised
We get nervous and scared in case someone figures out our secret
What's so important about that? You are next to me
And our time together is more precious

Still, I only love you
Still, I only think of you
It will never change forever, the love of you and I
I love you more than myself
I think of you more than myself
No one needs to know, if only I have you, I can live

2012-02-06T00:09:00.000+08:00

stupid thing haunting me at night.

reading fanfics before sleep is definitely a mistake.

2012-02-03T16:12:00.001+08:00

Verbal Jint (Feat. Black Skirt) - You Look Good (좋아보여)
Waiting for the traffic light on the streets of Kangnam,
I see you out the window and unintentionally I said hi
But uh-oh, we're broken up right now
Blankly I just look at you for 2 seconds
I turn my head and calm my shocked heart
I look strangely at passing by people
But you know what, you're looking at me too
And you've become stone in that very spot

Why is my heart that was determined to move on,
Shaking, swaying and just pestering me?
The light changed- I have to go now
I'll pass you by, goodbye, you. Please be well.

* You look good, I guess you're doing well
Your hairstyle changed- it looks good
You're pretty so whatever you do looks good
Honestly, I was really worried
That you would be hurting, that it would be hard
That you would be sadder than I am
But you look good- I guess I was being stupid

You look good- I guess I was being stupid
I was worried if you couldn't take the breakup well
But now that I accidentally saw you, my heart is at rest
I turn my head again- I found you among the people
But next to you is a new guy
I guess that's the person you told me about back then
Back then I hoped for your unhappiness but now it's different
Please be happy. You know I mean that right?
He should know too, that you have a special sensitivity
I need to step on the pedal and go but
Why isn't my foot moving? I need to step on the pedal and go but
Why isn't my foot moving? I need to step on the pedal and go but Why can't I move?

* repeat

Green light is on, so its time to go.
But I can't just leave you and go
I hear honks sayin I gotta move
But this feels like the end
Green light is on, so its time to go
But I can't just leave you and go
I hear honks sayin I gotta move
But this feels like the end

* repeat

2012-02-02T21:37:00.003+08:00

Block B is back,

with more nice songs in their mini album ;)

i like it very much when Kyung does his "Aiiik"

my god it's so cute it can kill me.

though i hope the Aiiik part in LOL is done by Kyung instead of Zico?

i'm not really sure either,

it just doesn't sound like Kyung.

Kyung's is softer ♥

i feel myself melt everytime he does that XD

waeee so cute ♥

2012-02-01T00:24:00.002+08:00

by the way,

sorry for stalking.

shit.

2012-02-01T00:23:00.003+08:00

no, wait.

it's been four months.

i am finally opening this to public

because...

i don't know..

just feel like doing it.

no one will read anyways.

shhhh....

2012-01-31T22:41:00.006+08:00

it's been awhile since i last blogged.

went to hang out with Choy at 100 yen,

again, talked crap for hours there.

i realised there are a lot of things i do not know of.

i want to know more.

but that kind of talk reminds me of no one except her.

the whole time,

i was reminded of her.

it was difficult.

i kept reminding myself that i am just desperate.

i didn't regret for doing it.

i wouldn't.

i was just desperate because i'm lonely.

that is it.

nothing more.

i didn't miss her,

nor want a future with her.

desperate, that's all.

but that thought kept coming back

every day,

i think of her,

but i just do not have the courage to talk to her again.

i'm afraid i might regret it.

i might just going to end up hurting her,

if not hurting myself.

either way,

one of us are going to get hurt.

i do not want the cold treatment she'll be giving me

since that was the way she treated me last before the break off.

and then i broke it off

so i'm guessing i'll get the same reaction again?

since i was being such an asshole

because at that time i was influenced by the devil's whisper

which i regret so much right now

there was a devil beside me but i didn't notice it at all

that was slowly killing me from inside,

eating me up and burning me alive

and right now,

healing is painful.

the scars will be there.

though i'm happy the devil doesn't come to me anymore,

but the scars remain.

she seems to be living fine now,

is it okay for me to reappear and bother her again?

i might just ruin her life again.

and i risk ruining my own life too.

however,

i'm in the mood right now

if i want to PM her on FB

it's just a click away.

should i or should i not?

most probably not.

like i said,

i'll keep convincing myself that i'm just lonely.

desperate.

i'll bear with that till i go to college

and get myself someone new.

can i do it?

i don't know.

i've been hesitating about it for

how many months?

i don't know.

around 3.

i bet she'll be refusing me in her life anyway.

should i give it a try?

break me or break her

most likely i'll be the one broken.

but i imagine

even if she accepts my friend request,

what will our conversation be about?

it's going to be boring.

nothing to talk about,

awkward.

since it seems like i'll be the one calling her on chat

and starting the conversations,

asking her questions,

it doesn't seem like she'll be interested in my life.

i am not interesting from the start.

and i have not changed much since last time,

except that i've turned into an asshole

there's not much to update her about.

and let's say

if she's turning out like what i'd expected,

what will i do?

delete her from my list again?

or simply hide her from my home feed,

and everytime i see her name on my chat list,

be reminded of the past and clutch my chest?

i can't do anything if she refuse to open up to me.

i once told her,

"give me some time if i ever behave like that again."

but she didn't.

i don't know,

maybe it's my fault for being such an asshole,

or the devil's for whispering into my ear

anyway, i've done it

no turning back.

let's not talk about the past,

let's think about the future.

do it or not?

i can tell no one about this,

they don't understand how i feel.

i've been keeping quiet,

my blog's my only friend.

i've even forgotten about how to make friends.

i suck.

i want to end this post but

seems like there's so much more i'd like to ramble about.

everything's messed up,

so i'll just end here.

this was a long post anyway.

haven't posted this long in ages.

#whatislove?

2012-01-31T22:41:00.005+08:00

late post, but Omega died a few days before his 1st month anniversary.

2012-01-31T22:33:00.003+08:00

Girl, I can’t explain what I feel.
Oh baby my baby, baby, baby, baby.. yeah.

Making a day feel like a minute
With you, I’m the main character of a movie
As if I’m about to film an action scene to come see you, as if I’ve become a hero

You’re perfect to me, I imagined
How would it be if we were together?
If only you say okay, everything is perfect, oh baby

I lost my mind, the moment I saw you
Except you, everything get in slow motion
Tell me, if this is love
Sharing and learning countless emotions everyday with you
Fighting, crying and hugging
Tell me, if this is love

All the guys in the world are jealous of me
They must be jealous to death of me, for having you
Even after the sun goes down and moon goes down, it will never change
You will find out that I’m a guy whom you can trust
Source: LYBIO.net

I don’t know why, this unconditional emotion
Did I ever imagine?
Next to me, you shine more brightly as I become a better guy

I lost my mind, the moment I saw you
Except you, everything get in slow motion
Tell me, if this is love
Sharing and learning countless emotions everyday with you
Fighting, crying and hugging
Tell me, if this is love

If you wish and wish earnestly
Will it come true, like the fairy-tales?
A never-ending happy ending, happily ever after
I will trust you, protect you and comfort you
I will be on your side
I will never leave your side

I lost my mind, the moment I saw you
Except you, everything get in slow motion
Tell me, if this is love
Sharing and learning countless emotions everyday with you
Fighting, crying and hugging
Tell me, if this is love

All the guys in the world are jealous of me
They must be jealous to death of me, for having you
My babe, baby babe, baby baby
I can tell, this is love
I will make you smile often like a child
I will make you feel the most comfortable, like a friend
My babe, baby babe, baby baby
Tell me, what is love

2012-01-14T23:49:00.001+08:00

It hurts, it hurts - my closed heart - a lot, a lot
Oh my honey, honey baby - what do I do?

After playing like crazy all day, I erase my thick makeup
Will I forget by being like this?
Looking quite miserable, on top of my half-erased cheeks
On top of the half-erased lipstick,
The fallen tears melt with the cleansing cream

Why, why, why, unni?
All throughout the night, why can't I forget him?
Why, why, why, unni?
With my blackened and smeared tears, I can't forget him
And I stubbornly say, bye, bye

* What do I do, unni? I want to sleep now
But my heart keeps running to him
What to do, unni? I don't think I can go on like this
Please, can you have a drink with me? I ask of you, unni

Have you ever been in love?
Have you ever really loved?
Love - for others it's so easy
But for me, it's like an unerasable tattoo
I empty my glass again

Today, there was a really great guy who asked me out
But I kept seeing him
I stupidly ran out from that place,
I stupidly couldn't do anything
What's the use of pretty makeup?

Why, why, why, unni?
(Why can't I forget this one guy for all this time
Unintentional memories get erased in the far distance
He already forgot about me)
Why, why, why, unni?
With my blackened and smeared tears, I can't forget him
And I stubbornly say, bye, bye
Why, why, why

* repeat

Please party with me
I don't want to erase my makeup yet
I ask of you, unni

It hurts, it hurts - my closed heart - a lot, a lot
Oh my honey, honey baby - what do I do?

It hurts, it hurts - my closed heart - a lot, a lot
Oh my honey, honey baby - what do I do?

2012-01-12T21:15:00.003+08:00

i can't wait till chinese new year.

i get to hang out with my sisters

wear new lens and pretty clothes and looking pretty ;)

i'm so looking forward to it!

plus with red packets and hangouts with family

most of all, i want to go out

wearing my wedges and dresses

cause i won't have anymore chances to wear dress after they've gone back.

i want to look pretty!

makeup, doing my hair, wearing wedges, walking with confidence :3

:3

2012-01-04T15:48:00.001+08:00

Title: Watching You Dance
Rating: R
Length: Drabble
Pairing: Hoya/Dongwoo (YaDong)
A/N: This is so embarrassing... x____x i was reading a detective manga when this suddenly came to me lol. idk what's the significance but... it just came. XD

He runs his fingers through his hair.

Dongwoo gulps, suddenly feeling a lump in his throat. He wants to bury his fingers in those short locks, and breathe in the smell of it.

He runs his fingers across his lips.

Dongwoo wants to capture those sinfully sexy lips in his own, devouring it and shoving his tongue into that hot cavern. Might as well hear his name and some sexy noises escape from that mouth.

He runs his hands across his jaw and neck.

Dongwoo wants to bury his face into the crook of his neck, and plants wet kisses along that jawline. He licks his lips, he wants to lick that creamy neck so much.

He runs his hands down his collarbone and chest.

Dongwoo's eyes are on the dancer's nipples, obvious from all the sweat wetting his shirt. He wants to suck on that collarbone, leaving wet kisses on his muscular chest and mostly, nip on those perky nipples, and lick and suck them hard.

He runs his hands down his abdomen, and lifts up his shirt a little, revealing that honey abs.

Dongwoo jerks at the sight, completely turned on. He wants to rip that shirt right off the dancer's body and touch every part of it, exploring it thoroughly.

He runs his fingers across his belt, and goes lower.

Dongwoo swallows again, hard. The room is seriously getting hotter, he's sweating even though he's just sitting down watching the other boy.

He travels his hand lower, and brushes his fingers slightly through his crotch.

Dongwoo is trying very hard not to jump on the dancer. He tells himself to be patient, he's getting all that tonight. Yes, he's sure, because the other boy is dancing for him and constantly makes eye contact.

He brings his fingers up to his lips and flicks his tongue through them.

Dongwoo swears he needs to taste that tongue, and have those fingers wrap around him, stroking him slowly. He sighs.

He puts his hand behind his head and pops that chest.

Dongwoo wants to feel the boy's chest heaving up and down below him, nipples brushing each other's every time he moves. He wants their hearts to beat together in the same rhythm,

He spreads his legs a little and moves that hips in circular motion.

Dongwoo feels like exploding. He needs to feel the boy's hips rolling against his like that. Yes, just like that. He'll just sandwich the boy to the wall so they can get as close to each other as possible, not allowing any space between them.

He runs his hands across that jeans-tight ass.

Dongwoo needs to slam into that sexy, tight ass. And smack those hips, hard. And thrust repeatedly into his sweet spot. And pleasure him like the pleasure he's feeling.

He turns and locks gaze with Dongwoo, eyes half-lidded and lips parted, sweats dripping down his forehead.

Dongwoo smirks at the dancer, and motions for him to come here with his index finger.

He walks across the dance floor, towards where Dongwoo is seated.

Dongwoo watches how he walks with style, like a model on the runway. Hot.

He stops in front of Dongwoo and straddles his lap. He leans closer and breaths 'I know you've been watching me' into Dongwoo's ear.

'You're such a tease, you know that?' Dongwoo replies before closing the distance between them and kisses him, rough and wet.

'Let's continue this at your place, hm?' the dancer moves in and presses himself down on the bulge in Dongwoo's pants, earning a groan and hot breath on his neck. 'Call me Hoya.'

'Dongwoo.'

'Let's go.'

A/N2: I CAN'T BELIEVE I WROTE THISSSSSS!!!!! OMFG when i was typing this into my phone i didn't feel a thing, but after i've transferred it into my comp, i feel... O//////O *fans self* and uh, sorry for any wrong usage of words or grammar error or typo error or whatever mistakes you can find O___O i'm really not confident with my english...

2012-01-01T22:51:00.002+08:00

happy new year.

let's just hope this is not a sucky year.

i really feel like cursing now.

2011-12-31T03:53:00.002+08:00

im at my sis' house.

target not to sleep tonight.

i have the whole night to myself.

lol.

i'll sleep like a pig as soon as i reach home.

the last time for the year.

2011-12-28T23:22:00.002+08:00

gaaaaaaaaah.

2011-12-27T13:54:00.015+08:00

Title: Mates
Pairing: Myungyeol (Myungsoo/Sungyeol)
Rating:

They have been living together for 3 months, in the same dorm. They are students at the same college, but different majors.

Every time Sungyeol tries to talk to Myungsoo, he gets ignored. Somehow Sungyeol thinks that Myungsoo is a strange guy, and Myungsoo just isn't bothered by that.

They don't share a room, they've different rooms. Whenever Myungsoo needs to get out of their dorm he'll lock the door to his room. He just don't like his personal space being invaded. Myungsoo prefers to stay by himself, do not want his wall broken and got his trust betrayed anymore. He's had troubles with his life and he don't want anymore of them.

Every time Sungyeol sees Myungsoo locking his room he just shakes his head and continue whatever he is doing. Not talking is hard, as they're still living under a roof. Sometimes he mentally curses his luck for giving him such housemate. He's talkative, and he needs someone that listens to him.

Sungyeol makes breakfast for them both every morning before heading to college, and most of the time it's gone by the time he comes back. Sometimes Myungsoo's share of breakfast will still be there, but he will just eat it as snack while he watch the television.

Myungsoo actually feels kind of grateful for the breakfast every morning. Because of that, he prepares lunch on some occasions when he comes home earlier than Sungyeol. It doesn't taste as good but at least there's something to eat so Sungyeol doesn't really mind. They live like this, each doing their responsibilities without having to talk to each other.

Sungyeol is curious about his roommate and tries to bring up a conversation but usually just ends up receiving either nothing or a one-word answer. Even so, it doesn't stop him from trying to find out more about the other boy. They are labeled as roommates, not yet friends.

Myungsoo thinks that Sungyeol is being annoying sometimes, when he's always trying to invade into his personal space (or that's how he views it) whenever he asks questions about him. He doesn't like it at all when the other boy always tries to know more about him. He wishes that Sungyeol will just leave him alone.

Sungyeol is watching some reruns of a drama at midnight when he hears the door being knocked and the doorbell being pressed simultaneously. It's getting annoying that he intends to just open the door and scream stfu at whoever's outside. But he doesn't do that because standing at the doorway is a drunk Myungsoo. He collapses on Sungyeol, breath reek of alcohol. It makes Sungyeol sick, but he closes the door and drags Myungsoo to the couch nonetheless. He stands beside the sleeping (drunken) Myungsoo wondering how he can even get home in that condition and mentally debates on what to do with him. Finally he decides to search for the key to Myungsoo's room in his pockets. Myungsoo shifts uncomfortable along the process, but Sungyeol makes sure he checked all of his pockets. The only things he can find are his wallet and some dried tissues. No keys. Double-checks again. No keys. Sungyeol freaks out.

Myungsoo wakes up the next morning with a pounding headache. It takes him minutes to register that he is not in his room when he notices a half-naked Sungyeol sleeping next to him. And Myungsoo's hand is on Sungyeol's, fingers intertwined. It feels not right, but it feels good. Myungsoo lets them stay like that for a few more minutes. He almost groans when Sungyeol shifts and separates their hands, noticing that Myungsoo's awake. They looks at each other with sleepy eytes for a few good minutes before Sungyeol starts blinking like he's trying to blink the sleepiness away and sits up. "Hey morning... I better start making breakfast now," Sungyeol crwals past Myungsoo and gets off the bed, rubbing his eyes while yawning. Myungsoo still doesn't have any clue of what happened. The hangover stops his brain from functioning. Just when he wants to close his eyes and sleep again, he notices that he's in Sungyeol's tee and sweatpants. Something isn't right here.

Myungsoo staggers across the room, looking around thinking "oh, so this is Sungyeol's room." He continues his journey to the living room (for the first time in his life, a few meters feels like a few kilometers) and plops down on the couch, all the while holding his head. "Are you ok? Do you want a glass of water?" Sungyeol asks from their mini kitchen. Myungsoo mentally replies "I feel like shit" but he keeps quiet. Sungyeol brings him a glass of water nevertheless, and Myungsoo feels damn grateful at that. "I need to prepare for class, darn it," Myungsoo thinks and gets off the couch with much difficulty. He heads to his room and notices that it's locked. He stands there and stares at the door as if it will make a hole on it. "Um, I tried searching for the keys in your pockets when you came home last night but couldn't find any. So I just decided that you sleep in my room and helped you change into some comfortable clothes," Sungyeol explains after seeing Myungsoo standing in front of his room like an idiot. After a few seconds, Sungyeol's words finally registers into Myungsoo's brain and he mutters an 'oh.' He heads for the couch and decides to sit there and think of a solution. "I suggest that you call Mr Kim, the owner of our apartment? I'll lend you my phone," Sungyeol tried to help the blur Myungsoo, his voice waking up the half-asleep figure on the couch. After a few moments of silence (no one knows whether Myungsoo's fallen asleep or thinking) he finally agrees at Sungyeol's suggestion. He gets up, heads into Sungyeol's room to get his phone, shuts the door and make a call. When he comes out a few minutes later, he looks guilty and lost. "Uh... Mr Kim said that he's on a vacation and will be back after two weeks. Um..." Myungsoo's words are cut off by Sungyeol, "That sucks! Then you'll need my clothes and stuff to stay alive. Do you want to share my bed as well? I don't mind, you know." Myungsoo freaks at the thought of having to share a room with someone and using all his stuffs. "I, I'll just sleep on the couch..." "No, we don't have extra blankets. You'll catch a cold and I won't allow that." Myungsoo melted a little at that.

The first night was awkward. Every time their arms brush against each other's, they shift further. However, they get a little better in the third day. But no matter how far they are from each other, they always wake up with their fingers linked.

On the fourth day, Sungyeol's curiosity gets the better of him. When they are lying in the bed, Sungyeol asked Myungsoo, "Myungsoo-ah, why do you always hold my hand in your sleep?" Myungsoo is silent for a while. He seems to be taken aback by that question. "It's... just my habit. If, if you don't like it I can just sleep outside..." "NO NO I don't mean that! I'm just curious, I don't mean anything. I don't mind, you're warm anyways." Myungsoo feels himself heat up.

The next night, Sungyeol asks Myungsoo more questions. "How do you sleep normally? Without a hand to hold?" "I hold my bamboo pillow." "They do not have fingers..." "They have holes." They both stop there, because it sounds really wrong. Sungyeol starts laughing like mad and laughters are contagious, so Myungsoo laughs too.

The next night, more. Sungyeol asks about his family, hobbies and all while Myungsoo just answers them. They get too caught up in their conversation that they forget the time. It's 4am when Sungyeol finally falls asleep.

Sungyeol wakes up suddenly at 7.45am, screaming that they're going to be late to class. He's panicking and struggling to get out of bed when Myungsoo ~~mandhandles~~ pushes Sungyeol onto the bed with both his arms on Sungyeol's shoulders. "Calm down will you, today is Sunday," Myungsoo groans sleepily, his face just a few centimeters above Sungyeol's. They stares into each other before Sungyeol raises his face a little to peck Myungsoo's lips lightly. Myungsoo is surprised and he stays there until Sungyeol pushes Myungsoo down. "Fine, let's continue sleeping," Sungyeol pouts and puts one of his arms across Myungsoo's waist, purposefully grabbing Myungsoo's hand and links their fingers.

Sungyeol wakes up late in the morning to see that Myungsoo is already awake, his fingers on his lips. "Um, sorry... You're just too pretty I can't help it..." Sungyeol tries to explain. It's obvious that Myungsoo's still thinking about that. Myungsoo just smiles and removes his fingers from his lips. "Can we... Do that again?" He leans closer to Sungyeol. He looks into the other boy's eyes and waits for his answer until Sungyeol spreads his arms as if to invite Myungsoo into his embrace, with a smile on his face. Myungsoo supports his body up with an elbow and drops himself on Sungyeol's body, face satisfied. "Hey, I thought you want to..." "That can wait," Myungsoo cuts him off. He feels a pair of hands rest on his back.

They are sitting on the couch together, watching a music show. Myungsoo refuses to let go of Sungyeol since that morning. It's not easy to find someone that accepts him as who he is and tolerates his quietness. Sungyeol's managed to get him talking for a few hours straight, which he's never done in years. He's spilled so much about himself and Sungyeol's right there to listen to him. Right now, he feels loved, the way the other boy treats him. He's not just being nice, Myungsoo knows, because that peck from earlier... Changes everything. He moves closer to Sungyeol, wanting to feel the head radiated from his body. Their arms brush, but neither moves away. They are both quiet at first, but Sungyeol starts saying funny comments about the performers, making Myungsoo laugh and continues with the funny comments. There's not even awkwardness between them at all.

They start to value every time they have together. Sungyeol feels very glad that the other boy has opened p to him. It's easier that way, since they have to live and sleep together. They're a little closer than they should be, but Sungyeol doesn't mind that. In fact, he feels special to be acknowledged by Myungsoo, knowing that the other boy has no one to lean on. He wants Myungsoo to feel loved, and he wants to continue loving him.

As they spend more time together, they know more about each other. Myungsoo's getting more comfortable around Sungyeol, that wall of protection he used to cast around himself is gone. He finds himself addicted to Sungyeol, and he wonders if that is love. He likes to have skin contact with the taller boy, it seems to make him feel like there are butterflies in his stomach. Is that how being in love feels?

It's the tenth day. Myungsoo finds himself pinning Sungyeol against the closed door of their room, kissing him passionately. He wants more, he wants to be closer to him, both mentally and physically.

2011-12-26T23:14:00.002+08:00

"Ugh, I'm so stupid," he tells his reflection, running a hand through his mussed up hair.

"Yep," calls Sungyeol, walking past the open door. "You're really stupid!"

2011-12-25T14:42:00.002+08:00

changed name for Paradise...

his name is gonna be Omega which means "the end"

got it last night when thinking about the Gazette's Omega and Omega Weapon from FF8.

LOL.

2011-12-24T22:19:00.003+08:00

got two new bettas...

considered naming them Paradise and Jolie..

if there's changes i'll post again.

2011-12-23T20:14:00.002+08:00

rules:
01. All 100 bases have a set theme and pairing. There is no order in how you do them, but you cannot stray.
02. You cannot add a third character to any pairing, only two people to a theme. The pairings don't have to be romantic, but what you write must focus on them and their relationship. All pairings are up to your interpretation.
03. You can play with the theme as much as you want. It doesn't have to be written the way the word prompt seems at first glance, you could write between the lines or in an abstract manner. Be creative with your story.
04. You have to write more than 200 words, but there is no limit to how much you can write.
05. You can write as many as you one in any given day. You could even, theoretically, finish all 100 in one day, but hopefully you are more creative than that. There is no time limit.
06. Please do follow procedures correctly and tell as many people about this as possible! :D

procedure:
01. Post an entry to link all your fics from. This may be posted here or at your personal journal, but cannot be locked. It must include the date you started, link back to this post, and include "(Number Finished)/100".
02. Comment to this entry with a link to your archived works/masterlist for this challenge and the username you'll be posting under. A list of everyone participating in the challenge will be kept at the bottom of this post, with the date started and date completed.
03. Fics should be posted to the community (or linked out from the community). No one will go back to check on your archive post. With every post, include the theme number out of 100 and a link to your archive. Please follow dashidorawa's rules when posting.
04. When posting your fics, do not tag your fic with !fanfic, instead tag your posts with !challenge.
05. Once you've completed the challenge, comment again here to let us know!

prizes:
The personal satisfaction of completing 100 different fics for various pairings with a variety of genres! c:

themes:
There are 100 themes tied into 100 pairings. You cannot stray from these themes, but you can do them in any order. Each one is separate; you cannot combine them or change them in any way. However, all themes are up for interpretation. Stretch it as far as you want.

001. student/teacher ; woohyun/sunggyu
002. letters ; sungyeol/hoya
003. chocolate ; myungsoo/sungjong
004. last time ; dongwoo/hoya
005. melancholy ; woohyun/hoya
006. wanting ; woohyun/myungsoo
007. cigarettes ; dongwoo/woohyun
008. pride ; hoya/sunggyu
009. fiction ; sunggyu/myungsoo
010. fear ; hoya/sungjong
011. promises ; sungjong/sunggyu
012. internet ; woohyun/sungjong
013. resentment ; sunggyu/myungsoo
014. glasses ; sungyeol/hoya
015. plaid shirts ; myungsoo/sungyeol
016. wings ; woohyun/sunggyu
017. ephemeral ; dongwoo/woohyun
018. run ; dongwoo/woohyun
019. campus couple ; myungsoo/sungyeol
020. mirror ; myungsoo/hoya
021. epilogue ; woohyun/hoya
022. over ; dongwoo/sungjong
023. spray paint ; woohyun/sunggyu
024. maximum ; dongwoo/hoya
025. one ; dongwoo/myungsoo
026. effect ; myungsoo/hoya
027. believe ; sungjong/sungyeol
028. dreams ; hoya/sungjong
029. mystery ; sunggyu/sungyeol
030. heat ; hoya/sunggyu
031. paradise ; woohyun/sunggyu
032. meeting ; dongwoo/sungyeol
033. rain ; woohyun/sungjong
034. insanity ; dongwoo/sunggyu
035. danger ; dongwoo/hoya
036. misery ; myungsoo/sungjong
037. sixth sense ; myungsoo/hoya
038. replay ; woohyun/sungjong
039. myopia ; myungsoo/sungyeol
040. lick ; myungsoo/hoya
041. watermelon ; woohyun/sungyeol
042. sign ; hoya/sunggyu
043. revolution ; hoya/sunggyu
044. freak ; sunggyu/myungsoo
045. claustrophobia ; dongwoo/woohyun
046. flirt ; woohyun/sungyeol
047. cellphone ; dongwoo/sungjong
048. blood ; myungsoo/hoya
049. pray ; woohyun/sunggyu
050. remembering ; myungsoo/sungyeol 051. barista ; woohyun/myungsoo
052. suffocate ; myungsoo/hoya
053. piano ; myungsoo/sungyeol
054. police ; sunggyu/sungyeol
055. chase ; dongwoo/sunggyu
056. star ; sunggyu/sungyeol
057. amazing ; sungyeol/hoya
058. ignition ; dongwoo/hoya
059. filth ; sunggyu/sungyeol
060. beauty ; woohyun/hoya
061. perfection ; myungsoo/sungjong
062. dirty ; dongwoo/hoya
063. sunshine ; hoya/sungjong
064. memories ; dongwoo/sunggyu
065. marionette ; woohyun/sungyeol
066. labryinth ; myungsoo/sungyeol
067. energy ; sungjong/sunggyu
068. days ; sungjong/sunggyu
069. room ; dongwoo/myungsoo
070. tomorrow ; woohyun/hoya
071. myth ; myungsoo/hoya
072. strange names ; dongwoo/sungyeol
073. black society ; dongwoo/sungjong
074. swords ; dongwoo/myungsoo
075. skin ; dongwoo/hoya
076. chains ; woohyun/myungsoo
077. shiver ; sungjong/sunggyu
078. yesterday ; woohyun/myungsoo
079. today ; woohyun/sunggyu
080. degradation ; dongwoo/sungyeol
081. don't cry ; dongwoo/sungjong
082. freeze ; hoya/sungjong
083. stay ; dongwoo/sunggyu
084. breath ; woohyun/hoya
085. hospital ; sungyeol/hoya
086. flowers ; sungjong/sungyeol
087. traffic ; hoya/sungjong
088. reset ; myungsoo/sungjong
089. cities ; sunggyu/myungsoo
090. alone ; woohyun/sungjong
091. monochrome ; dongwoo/myungsoo
092. magic ; dongwoo/sungyeol
093. lollipop ; hoya/sungjong
094. you ; myungsoo/sungyeol
095. destiny ; woohyun/sungyeol
096. miracle ; wc*
097. technicolor ; wc*
098. music ; wc*
099. of stage lights ; wc*
100. infinite ; wc*

* Writer's Choice: These can be anything, pairing or no pairing. It can even be pairing+, meaning three or four or five people involved, as long as one of them is from Infinite. However, it must follow the theme.

2011-12-20T12:08:00.001+08:00

20th dec 2011, RIP Alexander

2011-12-18T20:58:00.003+08:00

dreamed of Lee Joon this time.

i was sitting behind him when he was riding a bike.

lol.

there was something else about this but i won't mention it.

don't wanna spoil my blog post. lol

me and a few more people were spotting moon outside our house,

in the middle of the road,

then there was a huuuuuge moon

and they said it's not the original moon.

then we turned and searched again,

saw a red moon,

again, not that.

then we saw the original moon, the small one.

and suddenly there were huuuge fireballs (or were they meteors?)

came crashing down.

strangely is,

they only fell around the area outside my house.

i kept dodging it, it was thrilling.

then Lee Joon came and offered me a bike ride

he said the school's going to be safe. lol.

so i went with him.

the bike ride was more of flying? XD

only it was on a bike.

then we reached school and sneaked in.

this part i dreamed twice.

like saying,

game over, please start the game again.

we did the same things,

but the ending was a little different.

weird dream, we were lying down outside one of the class

and inside the class, the teacher were telling the fairytale story,

not sure which.

then we got caught. lol.

2011-12-18T13:16:00.003+08:00

recently,

i kept dreaming about Infinite.

today i dreamed that i was singing Hare Hare Yukai (with some dance at the chorus, together) with L. LMFAO.

isn't that so random.

Sunggyu and Dongwoo appeared before that,

but i forgot what was it.

hah.

at some point i forgot the lyrics,

so i stopped singing until i remembers it.

didn't really hear L's voice

but he was there. lol

2011-12-16T15:08:00.001+08:00

war... it's a war...

2011-12-16T00:33:00.002+08:00

i want to be an admin for super shinee junior because i want to help contribute to the group as i am a super junior and shinee fan, a proud SHAWOLELF. I have always loved super junior and shinee since their debut. I believe i can help the group in a lot of ways, i can do updates (i have a lot of source: twitter, tumblr, livejournal, fb and other different websites). I can play games with the fans, i have experience of working with other groups so i have different ideas of games. Besides that, i can edit pictures as i know how to use photoshop so the picture editings for display picture or picture requests can be given to me. Mos importantly, i can online everyday and i am very active in social networking sites so i can update the page with the news i got from my other sites. As mentioned, i have worked with other groups before but the groups were not active now. So i would like to take this opportunity to work in an active group and have fun will all the fans and admins. I do not have much friends, but i believe the group will make me closer to SHAWOLELFs from around the world and will be able to make more friends. I am also interested in working with admin kelvin, admin yennie and admin sano. You guys seem like interesting people :) if you don't believe my abilities listed above, you guys can make me an admin for a day and see how much i can update for the group. :)

2011-12-15T20:12:00.003+08:00

To Where You Are

Hoya had just came back from somewhere across the sea, carrying his luggage while roaming around the airport searching for a familiar face. A face that he missed so much, and also a face that he'll never forget. The wide, cheerful grin that is so innocent, the hearty laugh that is always infectious, that cute, shorter but sexy body and most importantly, his eyes, the pair that looks as if they sees right through him like he's naked, so wild and sexy yet so gentle when he smiles.

Hoya almost started to panic when he didn't see Dongwoo anywhere. Negative thoughts swarmed into his mind, like 'did he forget about me?' 'maybe he's found someone else,' 'he didn't want me anymore?' and those thoughts scared him to the point that he regretted going overseas to study. He remember how Dongwoo egged him on when he hesitated whether or not to leave Dongwoo there after receiving the letter from the university. He was later convinced that they will be okay with a long-distance relationship, so he went on with it. He wasn't sure if he regrets it then. Feeling tired from the journey and dragging his luggage around, he sat down on one of the chairs.

He buried his face in his thick red scarf and relaxed at the warm sensation. Christmas carols were playing in the shops nearby and he thought it must be snowing outside too. He started to worry that Dongwoo might catch a cold in that weather since he likes to sleep with only his boxers on. Hoya felt really comfortable and he almost fell asleep.

It was then that he felt a huge, warm hand on his shoulder. He jerked awake at the touch and quickly turned behind to see who it was. Hoya's sight was greeted with that familiar, broad grin of Dongwoo's. Immediately he felt secure, warm and at the verge of tears. He stood up and hugged Dongwoo on the spot.

''I missed you so much i was freezing... I thought you wouldn't come...''

Dongwoo squeezed Hoya tighter. ''Silly... You must be too tired to be thinking about these. Let's go home and shower.''

''Shower together?''

''Yep. I haven't bathed for a week just to shower with you,'' and Dongwoo flashed that signature grin of his.

''No wonder you smells like...'' Hoya buried his nose in Dongwoo's hair and then rested at his neck.

''Like what?''

''Like you,'' Hoya smiled and breathed in the air around Dongwoo's neck.

''Hey hey let's continue this at home. I might not be able to drive if you continue doing that,'' Dongwoo didn't want to but he had to push Hoya away.

''What! You have a car?''

''Nah... It's Sunggyu-hyung's. I borrowed from him just to get you home comfortably. I know there are a lot of underwears in your luggage,'' Dongwoo sniggered, earning a hit on his arm.

''And other stuffs as well. Including presents for Gyu-hyung, Woohyun-hyung, Myungsoo, Sungyeol and Sungjong. None for you.''

''What! Why...'' Hoya shushed Dongwoo with a finger and leaned closer.

Hoya whispered into Dongwoo's ear and be sure to blow some air into it, ''Because you're getting me tonight. Merry Christmas...''

2011-12-15T19:40:00.001+08:00

To Where You Are

Hoya had just came back from somewhere across the sea, carrying his luggage while roaming around the airport searching for a familiar face. A face that he missed so much, and also a face that he'll never forget. The wide, cheerful grin that is so innocent, the hearty laugh that is always infectious, that cute, shorter but sexy body and most importantly, his eyes, the pair that looks as if they sees right through him like he's naked, so wild and sexy yet so gentle when he smiles.

Hoya almost started to panic when he didn't see Dongwoo anywhere. Negative thoughts swarmed into his mind, like 'did he forget about me?' 'maybe he's found someone else,' 'he didn't want me anymore?' and those thoughts scared him to the point that he regretted going overseas to study. He remember how Dongwoo egged him on when he hesitated whether or not to leave Dongwoo there after receiving the letter from the university. He was later convinced that they will be okay with a long-distance relationship, so he went on with it. He wasn't sure if he regrets it then. Feeling tired from the journey and dragging his luggage around, he sat down at one of the chairs.

He buried his face in his thick red scarf and relaxed at the warm sensation. Christmas carols were playing in the shops nearby and he thought it must be snowing outside too. He started to worry that Dongwoo might catch a cold in that weather since he likes to sleep with only his boxers on. Hoya felt really comfortable and he almost fell asleep.

It was then that he felt a huge, warm hand on his shoulder. He jerked awake at the touch and quickly turned behind to see who it was. Hoya's sight was greeted with that familiar, broad grin of Dongwoo's. Immediately he felt secure, warm and at the verge of tears. He stood up and hugged Dongwoo on the spot.

''I missed you so much i was freezing... I thought you wouldn't come...''

Dongwoo squeezed Hoya tighter. ''Silly... You must be too tired to be thinking about these. Let's go home and shower.''

''Shower together?''

''Yep. I haven't bathed for a week just to shower with you,'' and Dongwoo flashed that signature grin of his.

''No wonder you smells like...'' Hoya buried his nose in Dongwoo's hair and then rested at his neck.

''Like what?''

''Like you,'' Hoya smiled and breathed in the air around Dongwoo's neck.

''Hey hey let's continue this at home. I might not be able to drive if you continue doing that,'' Dongwoo didn't want to but he had to push Hoya away.

''What! You have a car?''

''Nah... It's Sunggyu-hyung's. I borrowed from him just to get you home comfortably. I know there are a lot of underwears in your luggage,'' Dongwoo sniggered, earning a hit on his arm.

''And other stuffs as well. Including presents for Gyu-hyung, Woohyun, Myungsoo, sungyeol and Sungjong. None for you.''

''What! Why...'' Hoya shushed Dongwoo with a finger and leaned closer.

Hoya whispered into dongwoo's ear and be sure to blow some air into it, ''Because you're getting me tonight. Merry Christmas...''

2011-12-14T21:54:00.004+08:00

secret. it's a secret. it's a secret kay? it's a secret. it's a secret. secret always. a secret. a secret. it's a secret.

2011-12-14T21:47:00.002+08:00

ugh i am a stalker!

2011-12-14T20:38:00.003+08:00

i was at genting and KL.

it was so much fun.

except for the fact that i kept worrying about money and lost my glasses.

the one thing that i can't forget is the Flying Coaster at Genting.

damn epic!

the shopping with my sis was fun too.

i really like the pants she bought me from kitschen.

the shirt, i like it too

but it looks fragile cause it's white

and after washing it today it seemed a little yellow.

white shirts are scary

especially those with the quality like padini, nichii and kitschen, even F.O.S and reject shop.

thin fabrics. see-through.

very fragile.

i'm even scared to wash it.

but i like it very much.

my god the feeling then when the roller coaster goes down

the feeling like you're gonna drop your stomach is really scary.

need to scream or i'll die.

even when screaming, the feeling is there.

whoooo. excitement.

2011-12-14T20:10:00.006+08:00

i had an awesome dream.

i dreamed i stopped a "walking ice-cream stall" to get her ice creams because choy wanted one.

the old lady also sold something else i don't remember what.

it was a long journey before that but it's not important

and i don't really remember either.

most importantly,

i dreamed of Infinite!!!!

Dongwoo, Sunggyu and Hoya were confirmed there.

others were just making appearance without showing face XD

Maizura appeared too, so does Amy. LOLOL.

Sunggyu and Dongwoo and Woohyun (if not mistaken) were going somewhere

and Sunggyu went upstairs for what idk.

someone (my sis?) told me to call Sunggyu down

so i called him with phone and there was this awkward moment when i was debating

whether to call him oppa or not.

finally, remembering that he's older than me, i called him "oppa"

i said "jigeum,"

and stuck. idk how to continue in korean. XDD

again i was debating whether to speak Korean or English.

then someone beside me just spoke in English and i just repeated after her.

then Sunggyu came down.

i remembered that all the while I'd been acting like a guy (?)

calling them Hyung and such (my brain implanted fake memory)

all the while, Dongwoo was there trolling :3

then i was talking to someone and Infinite members started dancing

trolling around, more like?

they turned on some funny songs and watched Sunggyu danced to it.

then they turned on a remix version of Paradise (remix cause the intro is waaaay longer)

i danced too cause i know the steps XD

they started cheering and Sunggyu stopped dancing

they even commented on some steps that were incorrect among themselves, idk cause i was dancing.

i even forgot some moves and felt tired, so real. lol.

then i get why they were laughing when Sunggyu were dancing,

cause the remix version is faster than the normal version.

i had to dance like crazy.

before that i was thinking,

"is it possible to speed up songs in their hp?"

LOL.

but because i joined in the dance after the song started for awhile,

Hoya restarted the song for me to dance the whole thing.

the intro was so long, idk when's the song starting.

then someone counted backwards and the real song started.

i danced and they cheered.

then i took off my hoodie

and i wasn't wearing bra underneath O__O

i was half-naked there with only my jeans on.

but they didn't seem to care

so i thought "they must've been too used to treating me as a guy"

then i stopped dancing before the song finished.

ggeut.

2011-12-14T20:10:00.005+08:00

heyy.

wondering what should i post first?

i think i'll post about my dream first. next post.

2011-12-03T00:13:00.002+08:00

are you sure? i dont think so.

insensitive people will always be insensitive.

they don't know how being sensitive feels like.

2011-12-02T22:47:00.003+08:00

i want you back into my world

what should i do?

should i, or should i not?

i want to

but i can't

what should i do....

i really want..

but i really can't...

what the hell..

what am i so afraid of..

maybe..

that uninterested look...

or the "do not like" look...

damage done is done

can't be undone..

i wish.. another chance?

i don't think i'll be given another chance..

i'd used up all of them and now i'm wishing for another one..

im my dreams.

i really suck..

2011-12-02T22:46:00.002+08:00

sucks to be me.

2011-12-02T00:04:00.002+08:00

youtube and google sucks.

2011-11-30T22:55:00.001+08:00

it's over.

new life has just started.

2011-11-27T15:43:00.004+08:00

the two-most-difficult subjects were down.

left two subjects more.

i haven't started but will start today.

7/9

the strikeouts on the exam slip at the corner of my desk

is almost complete.

after 29th,

one more strikeout left to be done.

after 30th,

............

it's freedom.

for a few months, at least.

2011-11-27T15:41:00.001+08:00

i'd just read a really sad, sad fic

and now it's raining ;_____;

2011-11-27T14:08:00.003+08:00

i dreamed of something nice today.

i had Dongwoo and Sunggyu massaging me

by the beach... XDDDD

idk why beach but it seems like summer.. haha

somewhere near some huge rock.. i still remember XD

if it's true then how awesome it is .____.

both my biases massaging me... LOLOL

then it switched to some kinda amusement park...

HyunA was there selling gothic clothes... XDD

i called her "unnie" like I'd known her for some time.. XD

the place is like bazaar...

i was looking through the clothes and skirts..

but i didn't look at the price XD

2011-11-24T06:54:00.001+08:00

stop lying, will you?

it makes me tired even if you don't feel so.

whatever you say.

2011-11-24T06:52:00.003+08:00

i know you don't like hearing people ranting

especially when it's not your problem

i like being around her but

this is not a good friend material.

she's just someone to talk about fun stuffs

and have fun with,

not talk about personal stuff.

and that is so not fun.

2011-11-21T12:56:00.003+08:00

5 subjects down. awesome.

4 more left to fight for.

good thing tomorrow's a holiday.

or else i'll have a mental breakdown tonight XDD

cause the next one is add math.

i've been reading and understood it but

haven't been doing exam papers cause i didn't buy

i'm so doomed.

my god. add maths.

my god. add maths.

my god.

add maths.

my god is not add maths, sorry.

please at least

let me be able to answer at least 50% correctly

i need an A for this

any A, doesn't matter.

i need scholarship.

my parents considered to send me to college,

which I am very happy but

i'll still try to lessen their burden.

meh it's easy to say but

i don't seem to be able to change my laziness

it's always there in me

making a home and living comfortably there

don't think i can shoo it out.

it's a really serious sickness.

i'm still in the middle of it,

it's still not too late to change things, but

i... just can't bring myself to change...

it's always easier said than done.

look, i don't change now and i'll regret it later. i know it.

i definitely will.

i know i will.

i always will.

2011-11-18T13:53:00.002+08:00

don't like to be turned down. hmph.

2011-11-14T17:57:00.002+08:00

my god... i really want to read fic ==" T.T ;_;

2011-11-14T17:53:00.001+08:00

ugh

i want to read fanfic

i'm so fic-deprived.

but i've got no time except for before i sleep.

but my hp's got no money. ):

anyhow, i'll still need to read something

for my english essay tomorrow.

just hope the story i'll have in my mind later

matches the title for tomorrow.

lucks.

2011-11-14T17:24:00.003+08:00

BM paper down.

tomorrow's BI.

it was so nerve-wrecking when i first got into the exam hall.

my hands were cold,

and it was even difficult for me to hold my pen.

i was almost shaking when i wrote my number.

the pendahuluan was so... scary.

i kept feeling restless when i wrote pendahuluan,

but as i kept writing,

i adapted to the mood

and forgot about the nervousness soon.

i was writing confidently

and felt good about it afterwards.

but paper two was like... WTF MAN.

anyways, no biggies cause it has already ended.

the first day of SPM...

i forgot to bring IC.

more like, i didn't even know i have to bring it XDDD

HAHAHA how lame was i XD

in the middle of the nervousness

i somehow felt this incident funny XDD

i'm so lame lol!

such an important day and important document XD

but meh

it's something to be laughed about :P

2011-11-14T06:14:00.001+08:00

ugh

nightmare in the first day of SPM.

what a joke.

Prologue

2011-11-13T16:00:00.003+08:00

tomorrow is the D-day.

i'd like to post this at night,

but i don't think i'll online later.

it's still sunny bright

i can't really feel what's down there in my heart.

especially when i'm feeling so bright after watchin Infinite. lol.

anyway,

yeah, tomorrow's the day.

i've been living for 17 years,

studying for 12 years,

living life as a student for 11 years

it's going to be the end.

of what, i'm not sure.

i feel tensed up thinking about what's going to happen after this

it's going to be hard for me to adapt to life without school

everything's gonna feel different

let's say i go to form 6

different school, different friends

i don't want.

let's say college

then i'll have to grow up

do everything on my own.

or wait, before that.

application and all that shit.

gonna be troublesome.

i feel pretty good about SPM.

at least it is something to distract me from all those

i don't want to grow up.

gosh the mosquitoes.

i'll stop here.

will post if i have anything bothering me during spm.

2011-11-13T13:43:00.004+08:00

today i dreamed of some school stuff

and then Block B!!

i was in their dorm for idk why

and i was talking to Ukwon about something

we were like, gathering for dinner?

sitting around the table.

Kyung said something i don't remember what

and i replied coldly, more like sarcastically

then he suddenly suggested that we play something called "C.U"

i didn't know what was that but i figured it was "Cold Underground"

then they started saying it one by one, in order of how we sit around the table.

idk why Knife Seller was in there too.

i still remember the way she said it,

"Cold Under Ground" lol

and then i took advantage

i called Taeil who sat opposite of me

i said "Saranghaeyo, Taeil oppa" and winked XD

at first i said only Taeil, and added the "oppa" afterwards

didn't want the informal thing like the Kangin thing to happen again lol

and the next thing i know i was hugging him XDDD

lucky meee!!!! he's my bias in Block B XDD

more like hugging each other? lol

he asked me if i know the liquor Carlsberg something something

like some kinda limited edition one

and i said yeah

he kept questioning me about it

and at one point i said "in malaysia, i can buy it easily"

it's like, he's talking to me about liquor

to indicate that i'm under age to date him ):

cause the legal age to buy liquor is 18.

see, even in dreams he rejected me ;___;

back to the dream

after i said that, he asked if i have Maybank account... LMFAOOOO

i went dumbfounded because i didn't have bank account.

i thought for awhile and changed the topic XDD

shit, i don't remember what we talked about after that

but we were hugging each other real close all along XD

and the other members were all around us.. lol

like waiting for us to finish talking to start eating/play C.U lol

and then i woke up. GOSH! LOL.

anyway i was so damn happy to be able to dream

being so intimate with Taeil XDDDD

meow.

2011-11-13T13:03:00.003+08:00

hello.

i've been having awesome dreams lately.

the other day i dreamed of hugging heechul. lol.

i don't like heechul but

meh

better than nothing XD

Lee joon (?) were telling me that he modified the animal pajamas

don't remember what animal was it but it was yellow (?)

chicken or leopard or tiger... unsure.

he said he modified it and was very excited to show me

and then heechul appeared wearing the pajama

yeah it was modified but

it looked like it was just cut in two O_O

from one-piece become two-piece lol.

beside heechul there was kangin.

somehow in the dream me and heechul were close XD

i hugged him because he looked so cute lol

and he hugged back.

it lasted for awhile cause we hugged while talking about some stuff i don't remember.

like, the best friends hug

like how i always hug my friends.

then Kangin did something i don't remember

and i shouted informally towards him and felt wrong afterwards XD

but he didn't seem to notice it so.. lol.

then idk why i was looking for other people

and Sungyeol lifted his head and i saw him.

the place was somewhat like... factory?

rows of table in a very big warehouse-like kind of place

really got the factory feel.

there were presence of other Super Junior and Infinite members too but

idk who.

those identified ones were only Heechul, Kangin and Sungyeol.

im not even sure if it's really Lee joon who told me he modified the pajama.

i just think so.

then there's this dancing in one line thing...

we were dancing together in one line, all unknown people

dancing to kpop songs

i don't remember what song was it, Mona lisa?

then the song ended and the people were saying "Love is move, Secret"

so i thought it's true but

Bubble Pop started playing.

i danced anyway, but i was the only one XD

then a pink giant centipede appeared from the drain

the people started going panic

and wan jun appeared with her dad and her dog

to catch the pink centipede

the place changed to the lobby of my primary school. lol.

and then i woke up.

and at the half-awake state,

i dreamed of something like

i wanted to rape Sungyeol? LOL

IDK WHY SUNGYEOL MAN

I DON'T EVEN LIKE HIM!!

and i was thinking i should tie his partner up as well

and that partner is supposed to be L

but i tied Dongwoo up instead -.-""

Dongwoo's partner is hoya for god's sake. LOL!

kk i'll stop here. will continue with today's dream at the next post.

2011-10-31T23:43:00.001+08:00

if today no handphone also..

means i'll need to stay up again?

lol.

2011-10-31T22:34:00.003+08:00

recently I'm very into CHO PD's songs.

his songs are somewhat... relaxing?

because the beats were slow

but they're rap,

so makes it livelier even though it's slow.

i prefer part 2 album,

Art of Business.

the songs are more fun.

i like Family Man, of course.

In part 1 album, State of the Art,

i like this song

I'm ur Dream

cause there's the phrase:

YOU TALK LIKE SHIT I SAY FUCK YOU. lmfao.

i really love the songs in part 2.

feels like there's some variety.

part 1 feels the same.

i listened to both the albums and Zico's Mixtape vol 1

for the whole night

since i can't sleep cause no alarm

i watched the hangeng movie and block b special in japan two episodes.

then i started listening to songs

i looked out of the window and listened to them

feeling good

enjoying the night breeze

though i can't see a thing out there

because i don't wear glasses

but it was really quiet,

it felt nice.

but after i went to the toilet,

it felt creepy lol.

hid myself under the blanket after that and

make myself sleep in the half-conscious state

by listening to songs.

will eventually get awoken after two or three songs

and i felt so fresh this morning. lol.

glad teacher didn't teach much

or else i would've for sure, slept in class.

2011-10-31T22:31:00.003+08:00

happy halloween, folks.

my handphone dropped into the water.

damn it,

dad why did you put the bucket of water there.

i thought i'd rescued it fast enough

but the buttons weren't functioning well.

i regret keep turning it on and off and pressing the buttons.

now the back button become the vol down button.

this sucks, i can't even unlock.

right now it's hospitalized;

in uncooked rice.

might be under comatose for a few weeks?

idk,

i have to get it repaired (if it needs to be) by spm.

i'll need music to entertain myself when i study.

i'm worried but

i hope it's fine.

i really regret pressing the buttons.

KHJ Lucky Guy ♥

2011-10-27T23:14:00.001+08:00

Ready, Mic, Check 1,2
Let Me Clear My Throat
Let Me Get This Ready, 3,2,1, Let's Go

Hey, I feel good, today is perfect
It seems like it will be bigger (Let's get it)
Hey, I feel good, the flashlight that shines on me
I'm used to it (Let's get it)

I know that you want me
I'll play here for a second and go over there, sorry for that
From now on, play a little harder
Beacuse today, I'm a lucky guy, Hey

* High, High, High, High
Everyone jump in the sky
(Shake It, Shake It, Shake Shake It, Shake It)
High, High, High, High
Forget everything in the sky, yeah
(Shake It, Shake It, Shake Shake It, Shake It)
Fly Away(Fly Away, Yeah) Fly Away(Fly Away, Yeah)
So High, High, High, High
Until the night ends, awake the morning
You and I, shake it

** Every Body, eh eh, Every Body
Move Your Body, Move Move Your Body
Every Body, eh eh, Every Body
Shake It, Shake It, Shake Shake It, Shake It

Hey, You Little Lady
Now go where your body goes
Clap, Clap, Clap, Yo, Hand's Now (Let's Get It)
Hey, You Sexy Baby
Even if you wash out your eyes,
In your eyes, I shine the most, hey

I know that you want me
I'll play here for a second and go over there, sorry for that
From now on, play a little harder
Shhhhh - just trust yourself

* repeat

** repeat

Hey, now look over here, trust me, feel me
Woo- don't have any worries tonight
High, nice to meet you- you're my lady
Just grab my hand like this
I Wanna Go (I Wanna Go)
I Wanna Go (I Wanna Go)
I Wanna Go
I fly like this, baby yeah yeah

* repeat

** repeat

2011-10-27T22:39:00.002+08:00

My life is Lightless On Rainy Days, but when the Lights Go On Again, it's all Thanks To You. I Like You Best because The Fact is, you are a Mystery but that's what makes you Special. I'm Sorry for being a Bad Girl, I want to go Back To You. When you left, you took my Breath away. Though I Call, your Beautiful eyes does not want to look. You made me Break Down, I was Clenching a Tight Fist. I had a Shock, but When The Door Closes, i know it's the end for this Fiction.

for a competition in BEAST group in FB.. my toes curled as i was writing this lolol

2011-10-25T22:55:00.002+08:00

what's happening to the world

2011-10-19T17:18:00.001+08:00

pretty...

the rainy day...

the droplets of water...

the dark sky...

♥

2011-10-18T21:23:00.003+08:00

these few days it had been raining.

and i haven't been getting enough sleep

cause i'd been skipping my evening naps

for reasons i don't know.

i kept lying on bed thinking about stupid stuffs

wanted to release them on my blog but

ended up didn't.

i shouldn't be left alone,

i'll think about stupid stuffs.

these stuffs

keep haunting me

leave me alone.

i'd been living well until now

not wanting to remember those

when they suddenly come back to me

make me so paranoid

so scared of myself

everything reminds me of it

when i'd been living well

without remembering a thing about it

not even feeling it when i was looking through

the stuffs she gave me

ugh.

stfu.

2011-10-17T22:58:00.002+08:00

[DJ] It’s a lie, it’s a lie
We can’t end like this
Come back to me again, please come back to me
I can’t believe the fact that you are leaving me

[HS] No matter what I say to you right now,
It’s going to have no effect whatsoever
This isn’t right, this isn’t right
I can’t trust this fact

[DW] This is all a lie, not the truth
I can’t believe it any longer
I will tell you many times to come back to me
This is all just a lie

[YS] Now you are no longer next to me
That is the truth, I don’t want to believe it
Come back to me, even if I say this many times
All of this just has to be a lie right now

[KK] It’s a lie. It’s a lie. It’s a lie. It’s a lie
This isn’t the truth. This isn’t the truth. This isn’t the truth. This isn’t the truth.

[JH] It’s a fact
My mind knows, but my heart says that it can’t get accustommed to it
The urge to protect you comes to me without me knowing, it also seems like my clinging
This situattion that fell on top of my head randomly
I can no longer handle it
If I can’t empty you, I will try to fill it up again
I will rewrite the story of you and I

2011-10-17T22:51:00.001+08:00

[DJ] When the world turns dark And the rain quietly falls Everything is still

[KK] Even today, without a doubt I can’t get out of it I can’t get out from the thoughts of you

[YS] Now I know that it’s the end I know that it’s all just foolishness Now I know that it’s not true [HS] I am just disappointed in myself for Not being able to get a hold of you because of that pride

[YS] On the rainy days you come and find me Torturing me through the night When the rain starts to stop, you follow Slowly, little by little, you will stop as well

[JH] I must be drunk, I think I need to stop drinking Since the rain is falling, I think I might fall as well Well this doesn’t mean that I miss you, no it doesn’t mean that It just means that the time we had together was a bit sharp When it’s the type of day that you really liked I keep opening the raw memories of you Making the excuse that it’s all memories, I take a step forward I don’t even make the effort to escape

[DW] Now I erased all of you I emptied out all of you But when the rain falls again [KK] All the memories of you I hid with effort It all comes back, it must be looking for you

[YS] On the rainy days you come and find me Torturing me through the night When the rain starts to stop, you follow Slowly, little by little, you will stop as well

(To you) [HS] Now there is no path for me to return But looking at your happy face [DW] I will still try to laugh since I was the one Without the strength to stop you

[YS] On the rainy days you come and find me Torturing me through the night When the rain starts to stop, you follow Slowly, little by little, you will stop as well

[JH] What can I do about something that already ended? I’m just regretting after like the stupid fool I am Rain always falls so it will repeat again When it stops, that’s when I will stop as well

[JH] Rain always falls so it will repeat again When it stops, that’s when I will stop as well

2011-10-17T17:08:00.001+08:00

EUNHYUK:
When i am coolly dancing in the group that’s one of a kind in the world and uniquely moving the world
DONGHAE:
All the elfs in the world fall fall fall for me
Run run run to me
Let’s rejoice in this moment together
YESUNG:
I (emotionally) touch those people that have genuinely, quietly loved me
KYUHYUN:
There haven’t been moments where i’ve said useless things or not been truthful
SUPER JUNIOR:
Our scale is the best and our scale is the best
Everything has to be the best
Super Junior is only missing the ‘man’ from the name of ‘superman’
Our passion is the best and our concentration is the best
Who would be able to say we’ve finished
Super Junior is only missing the ‘man’ from the name of ‘superman’
HEECHUL:
Now, now, now, who is it?
SHINDONG:
So why do all of you look back when i am right here
Who the hell are you looking for
I am Shindong
LEETEUK:
Should I pluck the stars for you, count them
One, two, three
With the stars we’ve lost
We are thirteen stars
HEECHUL:
But we are not lonely, we have SM family and ELF
RYEOWOOK:
don’t be disappointed, don’t judge/betray us
you have already become drunk by the super holic
SUNGMIN:
Try singing the song, and now even follow the dance
Let’s get excited together
SUPER JUNIOR:
Our scale is the best and our scale is the best
Everything has to be the best
Super Junior is only missing the ‘man’ from the name of ‘superman’
Our passion is the best and our concentration is the best
Who would be able to say we’ve finished
Super Junior is only missing the ‘man’ from the name of ‘superman’
KYUHYUN & SUNGMIN:
When your heart is sad, when you want to listen to a song,
When you need something to lift your spirits up,
We are next to you, let’s all come together
SUPER JUNIOR:
Super Junior
We are super super superman
RYEOWOOK & YESUNG:
When you’re very bored and surfing the internet, if you just type in ‘super’ our results will come come out
We are always by your side
Scream it out
SUPER JUNIOR:
Super Junior
We are super super superman
EUNHYUK:
Even if they don’t know of us, we try our best every day
DONGHAE:
If they question who who who we are, we show them our results
SUPER JUNIOR:
Even if the road we walk is barren,
We are in the end, Super Junior
THE LAST MAN STANDING!

2011-10-14T20:53:00.003+08:00

Title: King of Hearts [Chapter 3]
Author: Chocolate_Ai
Genre: Fantasy, Action
Rating: PG13
Pairing: Dooseob, Junseung, Kiwoon

Hyunseung woke up to find himself in the bed without the warmth beside him. He rustled the sheets to make sure there's no Junhyung in it, and when he was convinced, he got up from the bed and walked towards the living room. He switched on the tv, and poured himself a glass of milk. The report of the battle between Doojoon and Dongwoon was being aired on the tv. "I missed the battle," he just realised but didn't give much damn about it as he was more curious to where Junhyung was now. Doojoon's face being replayed on the tv made Hyunseung think 'maybe I should visit Doojoon and Yoseob later.'

"Hyung, I think I saw Kikwang just now..." Dongwoon wasn't sure but he thought that he should share that with Junhyung. They had been friends since before Junhyung knew Hyunseung, together with Kikwang. But no one knows why did Kikwang left, or his whereabouts now. They were both silent for a while, with memories of Kikwang overflowed into their minds. Finally Junhyung broke the silence. "Are you sure that was Kikwang?" "I don't know... I had only caught a glimpse of him like, a few nanoseconds? And then Doojoon sliced my head off," there was clearly some dissatisfaction in his tone, but unsure whether it was because of his defeat or the Kikwang issue. Junhyung just kept quiet as he listened to the younger and silently analyzed his words.

Kikwang didn't thought he'd be discovered by Dongwoon, and of course, he felt guilty for distracting his concentration during the battle. He knew what Dongwoon had been doing all along, but he just can't appear in front of him, at least not yet. He'll have to finish his business first, and he hoped, by then, Dongwoon still loves him as much as he did. "Dongwoon, wait for me... I'll go back to you soon."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

They held each other's hands for the first time. Even though Junhyung was there, it was not awkward at all. The three of them were always together, and at that time they didn't pay much attention to the Card battles. They lived like normal teenagers did, enjoying life to the fullest.

"Kikwang, do you live alone in this house?"

"Yep."

"Why?"

Kikwang thought for a while before he could answer Dongwoon's question.

"My parents were dead."

Dongwoon seemed surprised by his answer, and he felt apologetic for asking. Kikwang felt that, so he patted his head to tell him that's okay.

"Do you want to live with me?" Kikwang suddenly asked.

Dongwoon's eyes widened. 'This is too good to be true,' he thought. He was actually damn happy inside, but kept cool at the outside. Just in case he'd heard it wrongly.

"Yes? No?" Kikwang was still waiting for his answer.

Dongwoon finally shouted out a loud YES and hugged Kikwang with all his might. It seemed like they forgot Junhyung's existence for a while there.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Hyunseung walked happily towards Doojoon and Yoseob's shared house. Like how he knew Junhyung, he knew the both of them through battles. The weather was good, which made him feel awesome.

He was so close to their house, just another turn in the alley and he'll see it. That's when he noticed his hands were being grabbed by someone, with another hand covering his mouth. He wanted to turn and look at that someone but the strong hands wouldn't allow him. Before he realise it, he was knocked out.

A/N: Sorry guys.. this is getting boring T__T

2011-10-14T20:18:00.003+08:00

they both remind me of how me and her used to be,

if it's not for her,

i'll still think of those moments

as a nightmare.

but now,

to me,

they're just something i can smile to

whenever i recall them.

seeing each other whenever there's opportunity,

borrowing her stuffs whenever i need something,

exchanging our personal items just to remember each other,

giving each other our precious items,

buying each other gifts to be treasured,

to get as close as we can, physically,

sneak out some time to meet,

but if not for the both of them i won't be missing her.

excuse.

i've felt it since the day i tidied up my room

her drawings still left in my files

i regret i didn't ask for more.

the things we used to do,

stayed back after taekwondo just to stay by each other's side longer.

there was once i borrowed calculator from her

thinking it could help me feel better with her calculator by my side

during exam,

but the calculator was her sister's. LOL.

i felt so disappointed cause it was full of her sister's name. XD

funny.

i ended up using my own calculator. haha.

the things i thought i've forgotten.

2011-10-13T23:04:00.001+08:00

posted the prologue in beastattack.

now let's just wait and see

it's time for some reaction!

2011-10-13T22:16:00.003+08:00

2011-10-12T22:24:00.003+08:00

Title: King of Hearts [Chapter 2]
Author: Chocolate_Ai
Genre: Fantasy, Action
Rating: PG13
Pairing: Dooseob, Junseung, Kiwoon
A/N: I'll draw the Card Guardians myself... and will post them later ;D

No, they never knew each other yet. They'd only heard about each other through the news on the Card Battle, and each other's nicknames. Nicknames were only given to those who rank above Ten of Spades, that is, the Jacks, Queens, Kings and Aces. And of course, the Joker.

Dongwoon walked out the moment his name was called. He felt as if his stomach had sunk to the floor the moment he stepped onto the battle area. It was like a stadium, which never failed to remind him of the Colosseum in Rome. He stood in the middle of the area while Doojoon's name was being called upon. As usual, Doojoon appeared like a king, full of confidence and Dongwoon could almost feel his aura there. He cursed himself for being so unlucky to be encountered with Doojoon.

Doojoon knew Yoseob was looking at him, from somewhere in the stadium. He'd have to give it his best, no one wants to look bad in front of their lover. He walked calmly towards where Dongwoon stood, and waited for a moment before they were announced to start.

As quick as lightning, they both pulled out their cards and summoned their Card Guardians. Dongwoon knew the form of Doojoon's Card Guardian, but Doojoon didn't know his as he skips his level every time he fights which means different form of Card Guardian every single time he appears in the battle. That was why he was given the nickname "The Skipper." Doojoon initiated the attack, commanding his Card Guardian to unsheath his mighty sword and sprung forward towards Dongwoon's Card Guardian, who was getting ready to dodge his attacks. Dongwoon's Card Guardian had long limbs, which made it easy for quick movements. The King didn't give him any chance to attack, he kept on thrusting and slicing everywhere he could but simply missed Dongwoon's Jack. Doojoon was a more skilled Player as he had been in the battle for many times to have reached the King of Spades, whereas Dongwoon was barely experienced. He believed it was just his luck that his level skips everytime he joined and won a battle, and the fight with Doojoon was his sixth battle. Dongwoon definitely didn't want to lose, he dodged every attack made by Doojoon and used his speed to his advantage. The King wasn't slow, it's just that his Jack's faster. It seemed as if he had disappeared from the tip of Doojoon's sword, but actually it was just speed. Dongwoon reappeared behind Doojoon and thrusted his fire-covered lance, aiming at the head. Doojoon quickly reacted, he stepped back and the sword just barely missed his right eye. He was taken by surprise when Dongwoon continued his attack, resulting in his King's crown being sliced into two. Dongwoon thought he had turned the table over, when he caught a glimpse of whom he thought was Kikwang, standing near the entrance to the stadium. He was dumbfounded, when Doojoon took the chance to attack and end the battle with a slice to Dongwoon's neck.

Doojoon was announced as the winner but Dongwoon didn't care anymore. At that moment, he just wanted to confirm if that was Kikwang, and if he was, he wanted to hug him. He ran towards the exit where he thought he saw him, but to his dismay, no one was there. He looked around, trying to see if he'd went somewhere but still no trace of Kikwang. Was it his phantasm, he didn't know. He didn't even bother to notice the change in his card.

"That guy stopped moving for awhile during the battle. That's how I got him but it doesn't feel good," Doojoon told Yoseob, though it sounded more like a complain than an explanation. "Anyway, I'm glad you've won! Just don't let any Player do any damage to your card... or else..." "I know what will happen if the card is damaged during battle. You don't have to remind me." Doojoon wanted Yoseob to stop worrying about him, which was a very hard task. He held out his card to examine if there's any changes, but he was disappointed. He didn't like staying in the same level for too long, it was boring. The look of the King of Spades in his card was as if he was telling Doojoon to keep waiting for the change. Sarcastic.

A/N: Chapter 2 successfully done. I'll see how long can this fic last. It's pretty boring to me actually. LOL

2011-10-12T15:06:00.003+08:00

I'm so happy.

How long has it been

since i last got Top 15, no Top 10,

in my class?

even in primary school,

it was hard for me to get Top 10.

Now, what happened?

I'm afraid.

No, this wasn't because of me.

Not because of me.

No, not.

I'm just lucky.

No wait.

My classmates were going down.

They did not study properly.

They disappoint me.

They let me climb up.

I had high hopes in them

wishing that they could carry the school name up with them

even if i can't do it.

Or no,

maybe the paper was easy?

Yes, but no,

my results weren't that good

but I can still get number 8.

No, I'm not the problem.

They are the problem.

Their results were degrading.

I did not climb up.

I did not.

No, I didn't.

I haven't even go all-out yet.

See, they're the problem.

I'm happy, yes I am.

Indeed, very.

Like I said,

i've lost count to how many years I didn't get top 10 in class.

the last time was....

...........

never?

........... maybe.

I'm very happy, yes I'm very happy.

But it's not me.

Not because of me.

Really, not me.

I have a bad feeling.

2011-10-11T20:23:00.003+08:00

Title: King of Hearts [Chapter 1]
Author: Chocolate_Ai
Genre: Fantasy, Action
Rating: PG13
Pairing: Dooseob, Junseung, Kiwoon

They were both panting. Yoseob smacked Doojoon's back. "Yah, why did you go and challenge Choi Seunghyun, The TOP? You know very well how long he's stayed as the Ace of Diamonds! Now look, we're chased out of his mansion by the guards for barging into his room." Doojoon grinned from ear to ear. "Isn't it fun to do some mischief sometimes? Besides, I've just reached the King of Spades. I want to try and see if I can beat anyone from a higher level."

Doojoon held Yoseob's hand as they walked along the banks of the river, enjoying the bright moonlight and each other's company. They sat down under a tree, so Yoseob took the opportunity to rest his head on Doojoon's broad shoulder. "Doojoon, make sure you win tomorrow. I'll wait for you at home. Promise me." Yoseob's face was sad. Despite having the Player known as "The King" as his boyfriend, he felt scared, as if he might lose Doojoon at anytime. Yoseob himself was involved in Game Battle as well, but he's not as obsessed with it as Doojoon was. He usually just went with the flow, but ends up with victory everytime. "Yoseob, I'll win again tomorrow and I'll come home to you. After that, I shall play with you..." Doojoon touched Yoseob's neck lightly, scraping his skin with his fingernails in the process. Yoseob flinched and turned to hug Doojoon, hiding his face in Doojoon's chest.

Dongwoon was looking at his Jack of Clubs card, while lying down on the roof. "I'm going against The King tomorrow..." he thought silently. He was afraid because of their level difference, and Doojoon wasn't given the nickname "The King" for no reason. But he has to fight, gain level, and then look for Kikwang. They were separated from each other four years ago, and he had no idea of Kikwang's whereabouts since then. There's only one clue: he's sure that Kikwang will be in the battle. He'll just have to wait for him to appear.

There was reason to why Hyunseung was so attracted to Junhyung, so attached to him. Hyunseung had always viewed Junhyung as a kind of mystery, and he wanted to know more about him. Hyunseung had always been a curious guy, one that thinks differently from others. He started to follow Junhyung around after he was defeated by him, and he had stopped going to battles just to observe Junhyung. Junhyung was annoyed at first, as he was used to being alone, but later Hyunseung's presence is a must for him. It didn't feel right when Hyunseung wasn't there for a day, or even a few hours. He's used to it.

"Tell me more about yourself," Hyunseung poked Junhyung's tattoo that's on his chest from across the dinner table. Junhyung frowned. "Why do you have to mention this like, almost everyday? I have nothing else to tell you. We have been living together for almost a year, i suppose you don't need me to explain anything else about myself." "No no, you can tell me anything! Like, how did you obtain the Joker card? How long have you been using the Joker card?" "I told you before, I did not know how I got the card! It just changes to the Joker right after i gained level to Four of Hearts. I've been using it for almost three years. It's getting boring. Aren't you bored with your level stuck at Queen of Diamonds?" "Reminds me... yeah. I think I'll need to participate in battles again... Oh, there's battle between The King and The Skipper tomorrow! Gotta watch it." The last dialogue didn't seem like a conversation, it was more like Hyunseung was talking to himself. He got up from his seat and proceeded to the kitchen to wash the dishes.

A/N: this chapter is pretty pointless.... LOL I know. XD

King of Hearts

2011-10-11T15:34:00.003+08:00

Title: King of Hearts [Prologue]
Author: Chocolate_Ai
Genre: Fantasy, Action
Rating: PG13
Pairing: Dooseob, Junseung, Kiwoon

A/N: LOLOL... I haven't even finish my other fics and yet i'm already writing this one. but this is just the prologue, will consider whether to continue or not since my exam is coming.

The Rules
It's the World of Cards where Players battle to gain levels. Every Players start off with a basic card, that is, the Two of Diamonds, and the card's rank will increase as the Player's level increase. After Two of Diamonds, it increases to Two of Clubs, Two of Hearts... and so on, until the highest level, the Ace of Spade. Depending on the individuals, the level might skip and does not increase constantly. The highest limit of the level, too, depends on the Player itself. Some Player's level might stop at the Jack of Spades, Nine of Hearts or whatever their limit is. That means that it is their maximum level and it cannot increase anymore. However, all Players with the same level does not mean they have the same strength. Some Players of the same level might be more powerful with experience, stamina and other factors.
The listed cards are from Two of Diamonds to Ace of Spade, but there is an unlisted card; the Joker. It is a rare ability card; the strength and level of the Player is unknown, the level limit is unknown, and the power is unknown too. The Joker is unpredictable and is very rare. One might have it due to genetic factor, hidden potential or some unknown factor.

The Characters

001. Yoon Doojoon
Age: 23
Level: King of Spades
Nickname: The King

002. Jang Hyunseung
Age: 23
Level: Queen of Diamonds
Nickname: The Whip

003. Yong Junhyung
Age: 22
Level: Joker
Nickname: The Joker

004. Yang Yoseob
Age: 22
Level: Queen of Hearts
Nickname: The Red

005. Lee Gikwang
Age: 22
Level: Jack of Spades
Nickname: The A.J (The Ace of Jacks)

006. Son Dongwoon
Age: 21
Level: Jack of Clubs
Nickname: The Skipper

A/N 2: There might be some random characters from other KPOP groups as well... but depends XD

2011-10-11T15:25:00.003+08:00

i suddenly have an idea for fics.

it will be fantasy kind of stories

cause i've been watching anime

Deadman Wonderland and Stein's Gate and Inuyasha

but the story i have in mind has got nothing to do with them

i'll start of with the prologue;

the characters.

then i'll decide whether to continue it or not.

2011-10-10T15:21:00.004+08:00

just now during the Chemistry class,

while i was counting the number of moles,

idk if it was because it went bright suddenly

or low blood pressure

or the infected ear piercing,

my vision started spinning

especially when i looked at my paper

that became so bright because of the sunlight from the window beside me

i didn't know where to look

everything i see didn't look right to me

and when there's something caught in my throat

that tastes like blood,

or that's what i think

so i drank some water

i was afraid that i might faint there and then

but i was glad i didn't.

2011-10-09T22:33:00.004+08:00

meong~ ♥

it's been awhile since i'd last posted.

i was cleaning my room two days ago

because May Kym wanted to enter my room

i found so many memories

my old diaries,

my old drawings,

my old comics,

my old stuffs,

brings back memories.

i found lots of manga i tried to draw but failed to continue

this is what's wrong with me

i never finish what i started.

the old diary,

reminds me of stuffs.

to think that the one who wrote in the diary was me

it feels just like last year when i'd last written in the book.

in fact, it was four years ago.

how old am i now?

how old?

how old?

how many years has it been?

feels so nostalgic.

i regret for not writing

i missed a few moments of my life

when i did not write

i couldn't remember them

maybe keeping a diary was a good idea

but i hated writing

which explains why my writing is so horrible

but i love expressing myself

and i love the feeling i get when i reread the old stuff

like how it makes me miss being in love

even if it breaks the rules

when i saw my old drawings of me and her

and her drawings

i miss her but not in that way anymore

i just wanted to talk to her,

ask her how she'd been

to be updated with her life

cause i know now

what happened between us is not her fault

it's because of the one i loathe the most

that ruins whatever my life has had left

makes me live in regret, pain, guilt and fear

changes my view towards the world

affects how i feel towards the society

makes everything negative.

i wanted to sms her and talk to her again

considering that i've already forgotten about what happened between us

the negative parts

leaving only the positive parts

but isn't it too late?

what's done is done

and i have my own dignity

but i really wanna see her reply

at least once

know her current position

make her believe that the one she used to trust so much is the devil

the devil that influences both me and her to hate each other

it's the rain that makes me feel this way.

2011-08-17T23:55:00.003+08:00

i dreamed of falling off a high place

the place is pretty weird

i can't describe how the place is.

but i remember it clearly.

i was jumping down from the "Bowls"

one by one,

when i encountered one which is slightly further down than the others,

i jumped with the help of "spoon"

i landed safely.

then there's another one that is almost the same height difference,

i jumped

and fell.

i knew it was a dream.

i was scared of what's going to happen next,

i forced myself to change dream.

closed my eyes real tight

i knew i wouldn't feel pain or reach the end when i fall

cause i know it was a dream.

but i don't dare to take the risk

i kept on forcing myself

and the dream changed.

i was pretty glad.

i remembered i actually forced myself to wake up,

but just the dream was changed.

2011-08-17T23:50:00.002+08:00

I dreamed of Dongwoon.

what was that dream again?

gawd. i don't remember.

maybe it's got something to do with

sitting on him or something? XD

2011-08-17T23:46:00.001+08:00

i love the song

I Remember by Bang Yong Guk ft Yoseob.

it makes me feel...

something.

i don't know what is it.

just,

something.

2011-08-17T23:44:00.002+08:00

i got new best friends...

how long will this last?

i love them,

i miss them.

i don't know.

I Remember - Bang Yong Guk ft yoseob

2011-08-17T23:38:00.001+08:00

I don't know why all of our hell-like memories are still in my head
I will remember all of our past days, how you played me
I completely changed because of you
I don't smile anymore like before
I don't care about love anymore, my heart is all crushed
I tried my best to froget about you
I wanted to be greater than anyone so you could regret
Yeah, my music that you looked down on
Is playing on the streets of Seoul (Rock on)
Our old habits hold me back
And I drown in your thoughts, that is like a nightmare
But I won't forget, because it's you whom I loved
Yes, I remember

*Even with my eyes closed
The light that shined us is still there
I will keep our precious memories deep inside
Even if pain comes along with the days
The days we promised eternal love
I will never forget those moments
I remember

I don't know what you've done to me
Just like that
Forget it, I will never fall in love, I came back, yeah
Forget everything, I don't need anything anymore
Now I can fall asleep without you
The spotlight shines your empty spot
The fact that you left me because you didn't believe in my dream
This reality drives me crazy
I'm hot stuff, I hurt feelings of people like you who wanna hang out with me
This is my own way of living a mean life
The only thing that remained after continuous break-ups
There's no such promise like forever
That helped me come all the way here
Since you let me go, don't ever look at me again
I believe that you think the same way as I do
Never forget, yes I remember

*Repeat

Our promise to be together forever
I will keep it here forever
Even if I walk this road by myself for a bit
I will show you my everything

*Repeat