meong~ ♥

it's been awhile since i'd last posted.

i was cleaning my room two days ago

because May Kym wanted to enter my room

i found so many memories

my old diaries,

my old drawings,

my old comics,

my old stuffs,

brings back memories.

i found lots of manga i tried to draw but failed to continue

this is what's wrong with me

i never finish what i started.

the old diary,

reminds me of stuffs.

to think that the one who wrote in the diary was me

it feels just like last year when i'd last written in the book.

in fact, it was four years ago.

how old am i now?

how old?

how old?

how many years has it been?

feels so nostalgic.

i regret for not writing

i missed a few moments of my life

when i did not write

i couldn't remember them

maybe keeping a diary was a good idea

but i hated writing

which explains why my writing is so horrible

but i love expressing myself

and i love the feeling i get when i reread the old stuff

like how it makes me miss being in love

even if it breaks the rules

when i saw my old drawings of me and her

and her drawings

i miss her but not in that way anymore

i just wanted to talk to her,

ask her how she'd been

to be updated with her life

cause i know now

what happened between us is not her fault

it's because of the one i loathe the most

that ruins whatever my life has had left

makes me live in regret, pain, guilt and fear

changes my view towards the world

affects how i feel towards the society

makes everything negative.



i wanted to sms her and talk to her again

considering that i've already forgotten about what happened between us

the negative parts

leaving only the positive parts

but isn't it too late?

what's done is done

and i have my own dignity

but i really wanna see her reply

at least once

know her current position

make her believe that the one she used to trust so much is the devil

the devil that influences both me and her to hate each other




it's the rain that makes me feel this way.

Labels: October 2011